Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that some people claimed that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning. It is also important for learners to play as well as learn skills in the primary school. I strongly agree with this view becasue it is significant for students to play and learn new skills as well as formal learning.

The first point to consider is that the primary schools concentrate on formal learning. It has many advantages for students to learn formal. They stood first in class or gain position in their board. Formal learning focuses on the topics or syllabus which was provided by board or HEC. They concentrate only on the schedule of the year. For instance, in Allied schools, they have the aim to stood top in provision level exams. They prepare their students by formal learning. Students learn the syllabus which was provided by school. In the consequences of the formal learning students have no ability to learn new things or new skills.

Another arguement in the favour of this view is that children should play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. It is crucial for learners to play or have the habbit of some games. This should make their minds resilient for future hardships. If students learn more skills and play some activities in classroom, they should become more learner. They know how to do work in a team and how to tackle hardships in future. For example, in Punjab school, Pakistan, they organize activities in school for students to compete with each other and achieve the goal. This activity should prepare the learners for hardships.

I believe that some activities are important for students in classroom or school. This sholud make students more learner, achievers and how to tackle issues up coming.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that children should have opportunities to play as well as study, and you include relevant examples, such as classroom activities in a school in Punjab. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the first body paragraph describes the benefits and practices of formal learning more than it explains whether schools focus on it too much. The position is also not fully consistent, since you say formal learning has advantages before concluding that it leaves students unable to learn other skills. The importance of play is identified, but its effects are asserted rather than explained in depth. Develop each main point with a clear reason and a specific example, and state directly how much you agree with the claim.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “The first point to consider” and “Another argument” signal the intended structure. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first paragraph moves from exam results to the syllabus and then to a claim about students’ abilities without showing the links between these ideas. Some connections are also repetitive or awkward, including repeated references to “formal learning” and “hardships.” The conclusion introduces a list of outcomes rather than clearly summarising the argument. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, explain how each example supports it, and use linking and referencing expressions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “syllabus,” “team” and “activities,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “stood first in class,” “in the consequences of,” and “more learner” do not express the ideas naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “becasue,” “arguement,” “habb it” (written as “habbit”), and “sholud.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for discussing educational outcomes and practise common collocations. Choose precise wording rather than repeating broad terms such as “skills” and “hardships.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “If students learn more skills and play some activities in classroom, they should become more learner.” However, the range remains limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “They stood first in class or gain position” shifts verb form, while “the topics or syllabus which was provided” has an agreement problem. Articles and sentence patterns are also unreliable, as in “in classroom” and “make students more learner, achievers and how to tackle issues.” Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, consistent tense, and parallel forms in lists. Then check agreement and articles when editing.

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