Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people say that primary schools should give much importance to syllabus and learning rather than extracurricular activities, especially playing. And some oppose this statement. Personally, I think there should be a focus on playing with learning subjects, but we will discuss both arguments with the examples.

Obviously, learning and studying should be a first priority, and this is why parents drop their children to school. But you know there is an important thing to know, and it is the mental state of a child. Mostly, children in primary school are under 12, so they are building themselves at that time. And for this, schools should give them the environment with both kind facilities rather than just formal learning. For example: If school teachers build a child's mind from an early age that you just focus on your studies to become a doctor, engineer, or pilot instead of playing or doing extracurricular activities, this will definitely have a bad effect on him/her because for mental well-being and physical fitness, you should play some kind of sports as well.

Another factor is these things like studying and just learning kill the childhood of children as they don't do what they should do, like playing, making memories with the children, and going on trips, which build their character. For example: Many people who say our main aim in childhood was to get first position, and we got it as well, but due to this, we lost our chance of making our childhood memorable, and now if we have a chance to go back, we must play sports and participate in events.

Therefore, I think the more study is important, the more sports are important for primary school students. And for this, the schools should change their goals that we should produce athletes, singers, and actors as well as doctors, engineers, etc.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support combining formal learning with play, and you address both the value of study and the importance of children’s wellbeing and childhood experiences. The examples about pressure to become a doctor or engineer and missing opportunities to make memories are relevant. This fits the task well, although the discussion of how play should be incorporated into classroom learning is less developed than the general case for play. The conclusion’s suggestion that schools should produce athletes, singers and actors is also broader than the question requires. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how classroom play supports learning—for instance, through cooperative games that develop communication or problem-solving—and clarify how this complements academic instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from the importance of learning to children’s mental and physical wellbeing, then to the value of childhood experiences. Linking phrases such as “Another factor” and “Therefore” help signal this progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening says “we will discuss both arguments,” but the essay mainly develops reasons for combining play and learning rather than presenting two distinct sides. References such as “these things” and “this” can also leave the reader unsure exactly which idea is meant. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the paragraph’s main claim; this would make the overall progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “mental well-being,” “physical fitness,” “character” and “participate in events.” There are also attempts to express more specific ideas about children’s development. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, which limits the clarity and flexibility of the vocabulary. For example, “give much importance to syllabus” and “build themselves” do not express the intended meaning naturally, while “kind facilities” is unclear. Repetition of “playing,” “learning” and “important” also makes parts of the response less varied. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise terms, such as “place too much emphasis on the curriculum” and “developing their abilities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because” and “rather than,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some sentences show an attempt to explain cause and effect, such as the sentence beginning “If school teachers build a child’s mind…”. However, there are some errors in sentence construction, agreement and articles. For example, “learning and studying should be a first priority” needs a more accurate article or plural form, and “Many people who say our main aim…” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. The opening also joins two independent ideas with “And” in a way that feels awkward. Practise building complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement and article use while retaining your complex structures.

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