Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education plays a significant role in character building and learning habits among the children. Some people argue that school should focus more formal learning, while other think it is crucial for children to play with learning. I think that school should maintain proper balance in learning and physical activities among candidates of primary education level.

Firstly, regarding focus on formal learning, to some extent,I believe that it is important for children because learning can improve their characters and help them to understand various topics completely. Moreover, excessive pressure on kids regarding their studies can show negative impact on them. For instance, children who spend most of their time it studies except any other physical activity may have fewer opportunities to develop other skills such as cognitive skills, comminication and also lower their confidence level.

Secondly, I strongly agree with this that youngers should also focus on playing activities as it help them to maintain their overall being. Furthermore, extra curricular activities also help them to develop various skills such as communcation skills, leadership abilities and problem solving skills. For example, if children involve in teamwork, it help to strengthen their relation with their classmates. In addition, it is responsibilty of teachers and parents to allow children to get involve in physical activities to improve their mental and physical health, it also leads to overcome their stress and burnout when they shift their daily routine.

In conclusion, formal learning provides children with essential academic knowledge. I think excessive pressure regarding studies is undesireable. It is significant to maintain balance between education and physical activites as it leads to improve their performance in academic area as well as in extra curricular activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support balancing formal study with play and physical activity. You address both questions, explaining that academic learning builds knowledge while excessive study pressure can limit children’s development, and that play can support teamwork, health and stress reduction. These are relevant points, and the examples about teamwork and classmates help illustrate your view. However, the discussion of whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is less fully developed than the case for play; the first body paragraph does not clearly explain how classroom practice could be adjusted. To strengthen the response, develop this comparison with a specific classroom example and explain more directly how much formal learning is appropriate alongside play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs develop the academic-learning and play-related points, and the conclusion restates the balance you recommend. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. The organisation is coherent, though some linking is mechanical, and connections within sentences are occasionally unclear. For example, the final sentence of the second body paragraph joins the benefits of physical activity and reduced stress without clearly separating the ideas. Some references, such as “it” in “it help to strengthen,” are also difficult to track. Use a wider range of transitions and make links between each claim and its explanation more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “cognitive skills,” “leadership abilities,” “problem solving” and “mental and physical health.” This gives you enough range to communicate your main ideas, and some choices show an attempt to be specific. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward: “youngers,” “comminication,” “communcation,” “responsibilty” and “undesireable” are examples. Phrases such as “maintain their overall being” and “shift their daily routine” are also not natural in this context. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, such as “overall well-being” and “take part in physical activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “if” and “when.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries are persistent enough to limit accuracy. For example, “other think” should be “others think,” “it help them” should be “it helps them,” and “if children involve in teamwork” needs a passive or reflexive construction, such as “if children are involved in teamwork.” The sentence beginning “In addition, it is responsibility…” also runs into a comma splice. Review subject–verb agreement and practise dividing long sentences or joining clauses with appropriate conjunctions and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.