Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

I highly agree with those people who thinks that primary school focuses too much on formal learning because a student is very active in this stage of life where the physical activity is the basic need. the growing body needs all the extracurricular activities however this doesn't mean to neglect their studies. it is also a phase for a student where their career has already been started.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

Your position is clear: “I highly agree” that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you mention children’s need for physical activity while clarifying that this should not mean neglecting studies. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. It does not explain how play should be balanced with learning in the classroom, and the point that a child’s career “has already been started” is not explained or linked clearly to the question. There are no supporting examples or developed reasons. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, leaving both questions largely unanswered. Develop each part with a clear reason, an explanation of its effect on children, and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The ideas are related to the topic, and the response moves from agreement to physical activity and then to the importance of studies. This gives it a basic sense of direction. However, the progression is very limited: the points are compressed into one paragraph, with no clear introduction, development, or conclusion. The link between the claim that children need extracurricular activities and the statement about their careers is not made explicit. Connectors such as “however” signal contrast, but they do not compensate for the lack of explanation between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and examples, and conclusion; then make the relationship between each point clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “extracurricular activities,” and “neglect their studies,” so the reader can identify your main topic. There is also an attempt to express a distinction between play and academic work. However, the range is narrow for discussing the question, and some phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “a student is very active in this stage of life” and “their career has already been started.” More precise terms for classroom play, social development, and academic progress would help you explain your ideas. Aim to use vocabulary in natural combinations and choose wording that clearly expresses the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex sentence with “because” and a contrast clause with “however,” showing some variety beyond simple statements. Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence structure and agreement reduce accuracy. For example, “those people who thinks” should use a plural verb to agree with “people,” while “the physical activity is the basic need” has an awkward article pattern. The final sentence, “it is also a phase for a student where their career has already been started,” is difficult to follow grammatically. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent: “the growing body” and “it is” should begin with capitals. Practise accurate agreement and build clearer, complete sentences.

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