Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few people have an opinion that primary schools are more focused on formal learning. I do not agree with this statement as i believe most of the primary schools provide a balance routine between learning and other activities. Children learning ability grows from playing and participating in learning activities.

Primary schools should keep balance between studies and other co-curricular activities that keeps the young students engaged and focused in the class and outside of the class. Students that are in primary schools are more intrigued to go to school for fun activities such as playing games with class fellows and teachers. If schools focus primarily on learning and keeping the students in the class all the time; it will have a very bad affect on their mental health. For example in my primary school we were forced to study and were not allowed to play. One after another subject were taught which affected us so badily that we would pray that school ends so we could go to our home. But now my nephew studies in the same primary school and they have changed the student routine to a certain extent that he enjoys going to school as they are encouraged to participate in other activities like playing sports, drawing, brainstorming, boxing and many other fun activities rather than studying all the time.

Young children learn more outside of the class than in the class. If they joins activities that are meaningful that can keep them focused, that will develop their mind more than only studying from books. Ofcourse formal learning is very important, but there should be moderation between studies and other activities such as playing. Formal education is important for every student that teaches them the way of living life and choose a good career in future. But other activities are equally important as well. Many students are god gifted that performs in other areas like sports. For instance, their was a student in my class that would barely pass the exams but was so good in basketball. His teachers would pressurize his parents to make him leave basketball, but his father believed that he can be a big star. Today that kid has turned out to be a big nfl player earning very well. And also he has got a masters degree. So, overall he did very good in his life.

In conclusion, i do not agree that primary schools focus only on formal learning. They should strike a balance between studies and playing. As playing for student is as much important as studying. It give them focus and a prespective to try new things. Maybe they can find something they are good at.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and argue that play should be balanced with study. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining why play supports engagement and development as well as why formal education matters. The personal examples—your own school experience and the student who excelled at basketball—extend your ideas and make the response relevant. To strengthen the argument further, explain more precisely how classroom play contributes to learning, rather than relying mainly on enjoyment and future success. The claim that the former classmate became an NFL player and earned a master’s degree is striking, but its connection to the broader point would benefit from clearer explanation. Some statements about children learning more outside class are also broad and need qualification or support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop reasons and examples, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and transitions such as “For example,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall organisation and shows some of the next band’s clear progression. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to “other activities” and “studies,” and some links between sentences are unclear. For example, the shift from the basketball example to the student’s later degree is not fully explained. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including relevant terms such as “formal learning,” “co-curricular activities,” “moderation,” and “participate.” However, the range is limited in places, and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make the writing less precise. Examples include “balance routine,” “very bad affect,” “god gifted,” and “big star”; these weaken the clarity or formality of the argument. Spelling and word-form errors such as “badily,” “prespective,” and “Ofcourse” are also noticeable. Aim to learn accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise language for describing educational benefits—such as social development, concentration, or practical skills—would help you express ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If schools focus primarily on learning … it will have…” and relative clauses such as “activities that are meaningful.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to process. For example, “If they joins activities” has subject–verb disagreement, while “One after another subject were taught” has problems with number and sentence construction. Other examples include “their was a student” and “It give them focus.” Capitalisation of “I” is also inconsistent, and some long sentences need clearer punctuation. Practise checking agreement, singular and plural forms, and sentence boundaries, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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