Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There has been an ongoing debate between people about whether primary education in schools focus too much on theoretical learning. I believe that physical activities like playing is just as important as formal education. Firstly, physical activities in children help with their overall mental health. Secondly, it also plays a vital role in maintaining good physical health.

Mental health of kids is a topic that is rarely discussed. Some studies have shown that children who spend time playing appear to be more calm and focused, in contrast to those who dont indulge in such activities. This also helps in improving their overall academic performance. For example, a child who goes out to play football daily may have a better mental state as they are not tied to their rooms all day. As a result they might perform better in their classroom.

Physical activites also play a crucial role in the overall wellbeing of a child's health. School going children are still at an early stage of development and indulging in such activites improves their immune system. Physical activities such as running or cycling may improve a child's stamina making them less susceptible to chronic diseases. For example, a child who plays outside everyday might have a better immune system as they are exposed to the germs outside. Resulting in them being stronger physically.

In conclusion, playing and formal learning go hand in hand.I believe, exposure to such activites may get the children to perform much better in their classrooms. As they have a better mental state and are physically fit, making them more calm and focused. There isn't a reason of not focusing on playing along with learning, specially when there is no harm in such activites.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider play as important as formal learning, and you address both the educational and health-related value of classroom play. The paragraphs on mental wellbeing and physical health are relevant, with examples such as playing football and running or cycling. This covers the task well overall. However, the question asks how important play is *in the primary school classroom*, while several examples focus on children playing outside school or at home. The claim that outdoor exposure to germs improves immunity is also not clearly explained or supported. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how teachers can incorporate play into lessons and develop each example to show its effect on learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. The sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “For example” help readers identify the main points. This gives the essay a coherent progression. At times, however, linking is mechanical or the relationship between ideas is not fully clear. For instance, “Resulting in them being stronger physically” is a fragment rather than a smoothly connected explanation, and the conclusion repeats the mental and physical benefits without adding a final synthesis. Use more varied transitions and connect examples explicitly to the classroom focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “mental health,” “academic performance,” “immune system,” “stamina,” and “chronic diseases.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and some topic-specific expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several words and phrases are repeated, especially “physical activities,” “activities,” and “better,” which limits flexibility. There are also spelling and word-choice slips, including “activites,” “dont,” and “more calm”; these do not prevent understanding but reduce accuracy and naturalness. Aim for more precise alternatives and check spelling carefully. Also choose collocations that express the intended point clearly, rather than relying on broad claims such as “better mental state.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “children who spend time playing” and a conditional example beginning “A child who plays outside every day might…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems persist. For example, “primary education in schools focus” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “There has been an ongoing debate between people about whether…” is awkwardly constructed. “Resulting in them being stronger physically” is a sentence fragment, and “In conclusion, playing and formal learning go hand in hand.I believe” needs clearer sentence separation. Review agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation, while continuing to practise varied complex sentences.

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