Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I completely agree with the argument that the primary schools spend too much time on the formal learning of the students. The co-curricular activities are just as much important for students as are the learning ones.

One of the main reasons why i consider this argument valid is because when students spends too much time reading and learning, there brain is completely overwhelmed. They spend too much time digesting the information and have no time to move their body. There is a famous saying that goes "a sound body leads to a sound mind". If your body moves, your mind stays much more active and can function better. If a student spends 7 hours of their day sitting in a classroom going through consecutive lectures,they will eventually lose their focus and feel tired even though all they did was read.

Another reason why play time is important is because it gives them adrenaline rush. The adrenaline rush helps student stay motivated and disciplined for a longer period of time. It helps them memorize faster with a fresh mindset and also keeps them energized. Playing sports is a fun activity to enjoy with friends. They get all the stress off their mind. For example, whenever I feel too much overwhelmed studying for hours, I always go outside and play basketball or just badminton for a while. When i come back to my table to study. It always help me memorize faster and efficiently.

In conclusion, Play time is as much important as formal learning. They both go hand in hand to keep a good balance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you address the importance of play by explaining its physical, mental and social benefits. The example of taking a break to play basketball or badminton also supports your point with personal experience. This covers the task well, but some ideas are more fully explained than others. For instance, the claim that an “adrenaline rush” makes pupils more disciplined and helps them memorise faster is asserted rather than clearly explained or supported. To strengthen the response, develop this link and include a more direct classroom example of how play can support learning. Your view is consistent, though the discussion could be more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally focus on one main idea, and transitions such as “One of the main reasons” and “Another reason” help the reader follow the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are not fully clear. In the second body paragraph, the move from an adrenaline rush to motivation, memorisation and social enjoyment feels like a list rather than a developed sequence. The sentence beginning “When i come back” is also separated from the following thought by a full stop, disrupting the connection. Use more varied linking and clearer references, and organise each paragraph around a central claim followed by explanation and evidence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “formal learning,” “overwhelmed,” “motivated” and “disciplined.” The personal example also gives the response some specificity. However, the range is limited in places, and several choices or combinations sound unnatural, such as “just as much important,” “adrenaline rush” in this context, and “get all the stress off their mind.” Repetition of “too much time” and “play” also reduces flexibility. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but more precise collocations would make it sound more natural and academic. Practise learning vocabulary in phrases, and choose wording that directly expresses the intended benefit, such as physical activity helping pupils refresh their attention.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If a student spends 7 hours… they will eventually lose their focus” and a subordinate clause beginning “whenever I feel…”. This shows some range, and the main message remains understandable. However, there are some errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and capitalisation. For example, “students spends” should use a plural verb, while “there brain” needs the possessive form. “It always help me” also has a subject–verb agreement error, and “When i come back to my table to study. It always help…” is an incomplete sentence followed by a separate clause. Review agreement and punctuation, and combine related ideas into complete sentences while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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