Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

An increasing number of people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. This essay agrees that children must play as well as learn during primary school. Firstly, only formal learning can harm children's health. Secondly, restricting children in their athletic career development.

Formal learning without any activity can have numerous effects on children's health, as every school curriculum has several exams, homework, and tests on a day to day basis that put a lot of pressure on the children, resulting in mental stress, anxiety, and several other health problems. For example, a survey of children who take part in activities found them more energetic and joyful, whereas the others were gloomy and mostly felt tired.

Formal learning can also impact children's athletic careers in a negative way. Only formal learning, especially at a young age can reduce confidence along with interest in sports, and the lack of playtime may also result in barriers that prevent them from pursuing their professional career in sports and athletics. For instance, a WHO report shows that in South Korea, among the people who don't participate in any sport event 94% of them had less playtime during their academic years.

In conclusion, children should play as well as learning as playing may reduce academic pressure, helping them to stay physically and mentally fit, which may help them to pursue their professional athletic careers and also help them in achieving good grades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that children should play as well as learn, and you give two relevant reasons—health and possible effects on sports development. However, the task is only partly addressed: the opening says formal learning is excessive, but the essay does not explain what a suitable balance in classroom learning might look like. The sports-career argument is also asserted more than developed, and the examples (including the survey and WHO report) are not explained or connected in detail to the claims. The response contains 230 words, below the required 250; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. Develop each reason with clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The sequence from health effects to athletic development is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “For example” help identify the intended relationships. However, progression is limited: the opening’s numbered points are not expressed as complete ideas, and the conclusion largely repeats the body claims rather than drawing them together. Some links are mechanical, while the relationship between evidence and argument is not always clear—for example, the South Korea statistic is presented without explaining how it supports the claim about career barriers. Use complete topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “mental stress,” “anxiety,” “playtime,” and “professional career.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “athletic career development.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “formal learning,” “children,” and “play,” and some combinations are unnatural or imprecise. For example, “restricting children in their athletic career development” and “barriers that prevent them from pursuing their professional career” do not express the ideas naturally. Choose more precise collocations and vary repeated terms; this will make the argument clearer and more fluent without changing its meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure in “...put a lot of pressure on the children, resulting in mental stress...” and a concluding clause beginning “which may help them.” Meaning is generally understandable, but control is uneven, particularly in the opening and in longer sentences. “Secondly, restricting children in their athletic career development” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence, and “children should play as well as learning” uses mismatched forms after “should.” The long sentence beginning “Formal learning without any activity...” would also benefit from clearer clause boundaries. Practise complete sentences, parallel verb forms, and punctuation in complex sentences to make your ideas more consistently accurate.

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