Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the expression "knowledge is power" has never been as much relevent as it is in the world we are living in. For that reason, formal learning has gained such popularity that it became a custom to teach it to children from their younger age at primary schools and that in almost all the countries around the world.

While some argue that this teaching is quite important for the future of the upcoming generations and it should be maintained as it is. Others believe that primary schools emphasise too much on this aspect of learning and they should teach children through a more kids friendly method such learning through playing.

As far as I am concerned, I truly believe that formal learning is not adapted for people of that age and hence learning through playing should be the followed method.

First, it is undeniable that formal learning could be beneficial to some learners. In fact, not all students have the same aptitudes and abilities. Formal learning could be more effective for a portion of the students and give them a real training and preparation for the future stages of their lives. Moreover, formal learning can provide what other teaching can not. For instance, this way of teaching has been the norm for decades and teachers mastered it and know how to get the most out of it. Changing to an other teaching practise can lead teachers to unknown grounds, thus while aiming to improve kids' teachings the contrary would be achieved.

However, considering only this perspective may overlook other important factors and lead to an incomplete understanding of the broader issue. As a matter of fact, playing is an activity that all children know how to do and are accustomed to it. It is a way of learning that is the most adapted to their age. Rather than keeping them sited on desks for long hours, students interact with each others and learn much more than formal knowledge. They achieve much more relevant skills that can follow them for the rest of their life. For example, learning to interact in a respectful manner with others, learning to discuss opinions and ideas and much more.

To conclude, even though at first glance teaching kids through formal learning seemed to be a viable solution, it ultimately proved to be nothing more than a temporary fix that merely shifts the problem rather than solving it.

For the best interest of the younger students and coming generations schools should start considering teaching through playing and focus less on the old fashioned formal learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe formal learning is not well suited to young children and that schools should give greater emphasis to learning through play. You address both the value of formal instruction and the importance of play, using relevant points about varied abilities, social interaction and communication skills. The discussion of formal learning is less fully developed, however: the claim that teachers have mastered the traditional method explains resistance to change more than whether formal learning is appropriate for children. Your examples of skills gained through play are relevant but general. To strengthen the response further, explain how a specific classroom activity develops learning, and make the balance between formal teaching and play more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the shift from the benefits of formal instruction to the case for play, and signposts such as “First,” “However” and “To conclude” make the progression visible. At times, though, cohesion feels mechanical or the links between ideas are not fully clear. For example, “Moreover” introduces the point about teachers’ experience, but its connection to the claim that formal learning benefits some students could be explained more directly. The conclusion also introduces “a temporary fix” without clearly identifying what problem it shifts. Use transitions that show the precise relationship between claims, and ensure the final paragraph synthesises the argument rather than adding an unclear metaphor.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “aptitudes and abilities,” “preparation,” “interact” and “relevant skills.” These choices help communicate your ideas, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “incomplete understanding of the broader issue.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “more kids friendly method,” “the most adapted to their age” and “unknown grounds.” There are also spelling or form errors, such as “relevent” and “practise” where the noun “practice” is intended. These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision. Aim for natural academic collocations and check spelling and word forms; for example, use “child-friendly approach” and “well suited to their age.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses and cause-and-effect constructions, as in “While some argue…” and “Changing to another teaching practice can lead…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “it became a custom” shifts tense awkwardly from the present context, “emphasise too much on” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern, and “students interact with each others” has an agreement and pronoun-form problem. The sentence beginning “While some argue…” is also a fragment because it is not joined to the following sentence. Review tense consistency, verb patterns and sentence boundaries, and proofread agreement and plural forms. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make your argument easier to follow.

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