Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is widely people argue that elementary schools give more focus on formal learning. In addition, how play games in primary school important fo a children.This esaay will discuss the both views but I believed that in primary schools provides flexible syllabus and make a time table for students for learning and playing.

Initially,every education insitute have on rules and syllabus.Most of schools have formal learning system.So few schools do not focus on this learning. I believe that primary schools makes some flexible syllubas and give some

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic of formal learning and play, and it begins to state a position: “I believed that in primary schools” there should be a flexible syllabus and time for both. However, the position is not expressed clearly or consistently, and the discussion does not explain how much you agree with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning. The importance of play is raised but not developed with reasons or examples. The response also ends mid-sentence, so the main ideas remain very limited. It contains 87 words, below the required 250; this leaves too little space to address both questions. Develop a clear answer to each part and support it with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic, and “Initially” signals the start of a further point. The reader can also identify a general connection between formal learning and play. However, the ideas do not progress into a complete argument, and the second paragraph stops at “give some,” leaving the relationship between points unclear. Linking phrases such as “In addition” and “Initially” are not followed by sufficiently developed ideas, so they cannot create a clear progression. The opening sentence is also difficult to follow, which weakens the overall flow. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and examples, and connect each point explicitly to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “syllabus,” “time table,” and “students,” so the subject is recognisable. There is also an attempt to use more academic wording, such as “education institute.” However, the range is narrow and several word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, including “It is widely people argue,” “flexible syllubas,” and “esaay.” Some phrases are not natural in this context, particularly “give more focus on.” Aim for accurate, familiar collocations before trying more elaborate expressions. For example, use “schools place too much emphasis on formal learning” and “make time for play.” Proofread spelling and choose vocabulary that expresses your intended point precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “This essay will discuss…” and “I believe that…,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence structure and verb forms appear in examples such as “how play games in primary school important” and “primary schools provides.” There are also problems with articles and agreement in “a children” and “every education institute have.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, as in “Initially,every,” and the final sentence is incomplete. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles and punctuation. A reliable pattern is: “I believe primary schools should provide time for both lessons and play.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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