Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few people claim that primary schools focus more on traditional way of teaching. I support that viewpoint for a reason that is discipline which is explained further. However, it is true that children should play as much as they study in schools.

To begin with, way of formal teaching has it's own benifites to children and One of them is discipline. To elaborate, traditional teaching has a paticular shecdule for studying different subjects and also have a dedicated time for lunchbreak by this method students will learn how to be discpline in life and how importan it is. They learn to manage time easily after following the way they have been thaught.

Furthermore, it is also important to balance mantel and physical health while studying in primary school. Playing game and doing activites with friends help to relax children due to which they can easily focus on schools more easily. Moreover, this develope their own intrest on distinct things and help to create hobbies.

If childrens are only focusing on schools and learning and avoiding other activites it is not that helpful for them. Eventually they will get stuck in academics and exam and they will not developed any other skill requried for survival.

To reitrate, the traditional method for learning in primary school are choosen to teach discpline. How ever it also has it own challenges. The mental and physical health of a student is as important as learning for maintaing that i think they activites and games are played along with learning in primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is broadly clear: you support the view that formal teaching is emphasised, while also arguing that play should accompany learning. You give relevant reasons, including discipline through a timetable and the benefits of play for relaxation, interests, and wider skills. However, the response only partly develops the task. The claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not clearly demonstrated with examples or explanation, and the discipline point mainly describes a benefit of formal teaching rather than showing why it is excessive. The importance of play is addressed, but the final paragraph repeats the conclusion instead of adding support. Develop each answer with a specific classroom example and explain how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs about formal learning and play, a further point about the risks of focusing only on academics, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “To reiterate” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph praises formal teaching, while the introduction says schools focus too much on it, and the relationship between these ideas is not explained. Some connections are also mechanical, and the final paragraph largely repeats earlier points. Use topic sentences that directly answer the question, then connect each example to your position; clearer referencing would also help readers follow phrases such as “this method.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “discipline,” “traditional teaching,” “physical health,” “hobbies,” and “survival.” These choices make the main subject understandable, and you attempt to express ideas beyond basic classroom activities. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the writing less precise, for example “benifites,” “paticular shecdule,” “mantel,” and “developed any other skill.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “focus on schools more easily” and “stuck in academics and exam.” Build accuracy by learning common combinations such as “focus on their studies,” “develop other skills,” and “academic work,” and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional structure in “If childrens are only focusing on schools … it is not that helpful for them.” This shows an effort to explain consequences, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Playing game and doing activites … help” has problems with plural forms and agreement, while “traditional method … are choosen” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence also needs clearer grammatical framing. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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