Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Educational sector plays crucial role for the foundation of early stage of children. Even though individual believes that it is the responsibility of organization to prefer informal activity, it confirmly believed that, educational institute focused on formal learning. I partly agree with this, although curricular activities have significant importance in this era, we can never ignore the importance of co-curricular exercise, but it keeps student to active physically as well as mentally.

In this contemporary era, most of the people consider that, primary school focus too much on education related to their subject rather than other activities, like sport,

Overall, academic learning beneficial for the children for their early education but at the same time some physical activity keeps them active and energetic in this way they can properly achieve their goal by maintained both their education as well as sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a relevant, partly agreeing position: formal learning is beneficial, but physical activity also matters. This addresses the general topic, and the final sentence begins to explain why activity helps children. However, the response only minimally answers the two questions. It does not clearly explain how much primary schools focus on formal learning, or develop why classroom play is important with reasons or examples. The point about keeping children “active and energetic” is relevant but remains unsupported. The response is also 109 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop the argument. To improve, state your position directly, address both questions in separate developed points, and add a specific example from a classroom or school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic and your position, and the final paragraph gives a concluding view. Linking phrases such as “Even though,” “although,” and “at the same time” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the middle paragraph is incomplete, ending with “like sport,” and the response does not progress through a clear sequence of reasons and supporting details. Some links also make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow, particularly the long opening sentence, which combines several contrasting points. Use complete paragraphs with one main idea each, then connect each reason to an explanation or example. A clear introduction, two developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “curricular activities,” “co-curricular,” and “physically as well as mentally.” These choices show an effort to discuss education beyond basic, everyday terms. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “organization to prefer informal activity,” “confirmly believed,” and “keeps student to active.” The repeated use of broad terms such as “activity” and “education” also limits precision. These word-choice and collocation problems sometimes make your intended meaning less clear, although the general topic can still be understood. Aim to use familiar academic phrases accurately—for example, “schools should provide opportunities for play”—rather than choosing less common wording that does not fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Even though…” and a contrast introduced by “although.” This shows some range, but the complex sentences are often difficult to control. For example, the opening sentence contains several clauses without clear grammatical relationships, and “it confirmly believed that” lacks a clear subject and has an incorrect verb form. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “primary school focus” and “it keeps student to active.” Punctuation is sometimes used in ways that create run-on sentences, particularly in the first paragraph. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement.

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