Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is often claim that many people believe that primary school attention very much on compulsary education. In this essay, I completely agree with this opinion.

This essay will explain why I agree with this viwe. Primary schools focus too much on formal learning as it many people argue that.

The primary reason is that formal learning help to learn basic thing of education. To explain, as a student cann't main features in education who doesn't continue his ecademic study in this future. Moreover, if a students cann't know basic in learning, he wonn't acheive his goal and increase unemployment. For example, in Bangladesh has waken primary education infrustructure so there had more unemployed people.Therefore, it is clear that, primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

Another reason is that, students can to learn morality in primary school. this reason is,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

Your position is stated clearly: “I completely agree,” and you begin to give reasons related to formal learning and morality. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. It does not explain how much play should be included or why play matters alongside learning, and the point about morality is left unfinished (“this reason is,”). The example about Bangladesh and unemployment is difficult to connect to the claim about excessive formal learning, so the main ideas are not adequately supported. The response contains 125 words, which is 125 words short of the required 250; 17 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop both parts of the question with relevant explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by paragraphs beginning “The primary reason” and “Another reason.” This gives the reader some indication of the intended structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because the second paragraph largely repeats the introduction, and the final paragraph stops before explaining its point. Some links are unclear, such as the move from basic education to unemployment and then to the Bangladesh example. Use each body paragraph to develop one distinct reason, connect the explanation to the claim, and finish the paragraph before moving on. A conclusion would also help bring the argument together.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary schools,” “education,” and “morality,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, for example “compulsary education,” “basic thing of education,” and “waken primary education infrustructure.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “main features in education” and “increase unemployment.” Aim for more precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe “a weak primary education system” and explain that it may “limit students’ future opportunities,” which would make the relationship between your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional beginning “if a students…” and an example introduced with “For example.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “It is often claim,” “formal learning help,” “as it many people argue that,” and “students can to learn.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence construction, as in “a students” and “In Bangladesh has…” The unfinished sentence at the end further limits accuracy. Practise complete subject–verb structures and check agreement and verb forms; then build longer sentences from accurate simple ones.

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