Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In todays world many countries that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. However, the created positive development in their urban area to learn basic llearning. I partially agree with the given statement.

At the initial stage, majority of many primary school focusing to their formal learning. Due to, In the mordern society youngster lerared from the basic levels it will advantageous in their better lifestlye. Firstly, beginning at the school many teacher are teaching from the easy level. Moreover, when the students are passout from primary school to secondary school it assist to learning more subjects. For instance, In India many Schools were more foucing from their natural learning. On account of it will Facilitate in their respective live.

To contrast, nevertheless, many pupils nowadays they are not learning the basic rule from their childhood. In addition, when they become younger they foregot all the rule of subjects. Consequently, the major disagree either they have been not focusing from their beginning life nor after the living their school lifestlye. For Example, In Canada, many school from the commence they are not taking serious part of their life. Owing to, primary school classroom was the best opportunity to enjoy and making fun with the classmate rather than focusing to the formal learning.

To conclude, government should have taken action from many school to not focus more about learned more nontheless enjoying their chilhood memories on It. from my prespective opinion, teacher have to more focus to enjoy and happines in their face. Subsequently, try to enjoy not leraning different subjects form their child levels.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I partially agree”—and refer to both formal learning and the value of enjoyment in class, so the response is connected to the question. However, the position is not sustained clearly: the first body paragraph supports formal learning, while the next argues that children should enjoy school, without explaining how these views fit your partial agreement. The importance of play is mentioned mainly as “enjoy and making fun,” but its benefits for children’s learning or development are not explained. Examples about India and Canada are broad and unclear, so they do not provide convincing support. Develop a clear answer to both questions, explain why play matters alongside academic learning, and use specific examples linked to your reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and you use signposts such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “To conclude.” These features give the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly, and several links are difficult to follow. For example, “when the students are passout from primary school to secondary school it assist to learning more subjects” does not clearly connect to the claim about formal learning. “To contrast” introduces a different view, but the paragraph then shifts between forgetting subject rules, school seriousness and classroom enjoyment. Use one main point per paragraph, explain each point in sequence, and make references and transitions precise rather than relying on connectors alone.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “primary school,” “secondary school,” and “classmate.” However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “created positive development in their urban area,” “natural learning,” and “serious part of their life” do not express clear ideas in this context. There are also frequent spelling and word-form errors, including “mordern,” “lerared,” “foucing,” and “chilhood.” These issues strain the reader’s effort to interpret your argument. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and word forms; prioritise clear, natural phrases over ambitious wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use subordinate links such as “when,” “Moreover,” and “Consequently,” but control of sentence structure is limited. Errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “In todays world many countries that primary schools focus too much” lacks a complete, correctly formed clause, while “majority of many primary school focusing” has problems with the subject and verb. In “when the students are passout … it assist,” the verb forms and agreement are also faulty. Articles, plurals and punctuation are inconsistent, as in “many teacher” and “For instance, In India.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed clauses and consistent verb tenses.

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