Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Opnions varies among the parents that primary schools are focusing mainly on the formal method of learning.This assay will argue that I,completely agree with them.Moreover,in my view its crucial for the child to experience joy and learning simultaneously.

Nowadays, teachers are strictly focused on the primary goal to complete the syllabus on time.Which made them to follow the schedule circulated by the higher authorities, as a result their is largely decrease of co-curriculum activites among the students which were once considered a way to improve skills.Furthermore, focousing mainly on the formal learning aspects of the education such as, digitalization of notes, leactures and assignments.Students indirectly impact their health.For example, students in VIP international school in Hyderabad uses tablets instead of notebooks which grealty affected their vision power and they started using specs.

On the other hand, Teachers in primary schools should strike a balance between childrens health and education as both goes hand-in-hand and are crucial for well-being of childrens life.Playing develops skills which are essential for the development such as cognitive skills leadership skillsand may more, similarly education increases morals and values in the child.As they both are important the child should play and learn in primary schools.Morover,playing and learning simultaniously will increase the memory power of the children.For example, recent survey carried out in elementart school shows that children who are enggaed with learning colours while they are playing with toys were good at remembering colours for more duration than the children who were just learning them.This shows the evidence that playing and learning should be involved in the primary school classes.

In conclusion,I grealty agree with the influence of formal learning has been outweighing the others as they are two key reasons such as reduced co-curriculm activities and completely digitalization of studying patterns.However,learning play a significant role in child's life so does the play as it maintains health and life balance and helps in physical development.Primary classrooms should link learning and playing activites together which will reflect a postive impact on child's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you also address the importance of combining play with learning. The response develops relevant reasons, including reduced co-curricular activities, possible effects of screen use on eyesight, and the benefits of learning through play. The examples about the Hyderabad school and learning colours help make these points concrete. This covers both parts of the task and supports your main view. Some claims, however, are broad or not fully explained—for instance, the link between formal learning and children’s health could be clarified, and the benefits of play could be connected more directly to classroom practice. More precise explanation would strengthen the development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting the concerns and the case for play, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the stages easy to follow, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. To make the progression more consistently smooth, avoid relying on connectors as substitutes for clear sentence relationships. For example, “Which made them to follow the schedule…” is not a complete sentence, and the transition “On the other hand” suggests a contrast that is not fully established. Clearer links between the reasons and the examples, along with more precise referencing, would make cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “co-curriculum activities,” “cognitive skills,” “leadership skills,” and “physical development.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “strike a balance.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “assay,” “focousing,” “leactures,” and “simultaniously.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “vision power” and “increase the memory power.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; for example, use “eyesight” and “improve children’s memory.” More accurate, natural phrasing would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including explanations with “as a result” and comparisons using “similarly.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Which made them to follow the schedule” is a fragment, while “their is largely decrease” has problems with the verb and noun structure. Agreement and sentence construction also need attention in “teachers … should strike a balance … as both goes hand-in-hand” and “students … uses tablets.” Punctuation and spacing around sentence boundaries are inconsistent, creating run-on sentences in places. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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