Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

World has become a global village now and everything is so much changed as it was ever before. Nothing, we can see, looks same as it was 100 years back. Everything has been upgraded with better version and science has took place in every field of life.

Primary schools focus too much on formal learning in many countries and make children slow in daily life compared to advance countries including china, japan and singapur. Only formal education should be in the first year of school. In the second year, kids should get advance tools and technological stuff to become more quick and get technical knowledge in early life. When kids pass the primary education they should have much technical knowledge and skill which they should use in choosing their upcoming subjects and field in future. It will make kids more faster, knowledgeable and technical. They will grow more faster and have understanding of what they should do next. They will quickly complete their studies and enter in working field. With this stretegy the countries will get more development in short time with like minded people.

These things are not really difficult to implement in a country because it is not really hard now as everything is so advanced and can be accessable all over the world. System has been designed in working in other countries which we just need to copy and implement in our own country.

I am real life example of this as I had real basic learning in my early age. I had not access to any type of tools or tech stuff to be more advance which I wish I would have. Now I am at the age of 25 and still studying. I should have enter in working field at this age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response engages with the topic of primary education and gives a personal example, but it only minimally answers the two questions. You argue that children need early access to technology and formal learning, yet the task asks whether schools focus too much on formal learning and how important classroom play is. Play is not discussed, and your position on the balance between formal learning and other activities remains unclear. Claims such as technology making children “more faster” and helping countries develop are asserted rather than explained or supported with relevant examples. The personal account of still studying at 25 gives a reason for your view, but it does not show how classroom play would benefit children. Address both questions directly and develop each reason with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces broad changes in the world, presents views about schooling, explains implementation, and ends with a personal example. However, the ideas are not arranged in a coherent progression that answers the prompt. The opening about global change does not lead clearly to the issue of formal learning or play, and the discussion shifts from primary-school teaching to technology, national development, and your own career without connecting these points. Linking phrases such as “With this strategy” and “These things” are used, but their references are not always clear. Build paragraphs around the two questions, use topic sentences to signal each point, and make the links between claims and examples explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary education,” “technical knowledge,” and “working field,” so the reader can identify your general subject. However, the range is basic and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, which sometimes strains communication. Phrases such as “more faster,” “better version,” and “tech stuff” are not suitable or accurate in this context, while “advance” is repeatedly used where a different form or word is needed. There are also spelling errors, including “singapur,” “stretegy,” and “accessable.” Aim for precise education-related vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe practical skills, classroom activities, or children’s development rather than relying on general terms such as “stuff.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates its broad meaning through mostly simple statements and some attempts at longer sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent and can make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “everything is so much changed,” “science has took place,” and “I should have enter,” where verb forms are incorrect. There are also problems with articles and sentence structure, as in “in the first year of school” and “System has been designed in working in other countries.” The sentence beginning “Nothing, we can see” is awkwardly constructed, and punctuation does not consistently clarify the meaning. Practise accurate past and present perfect forms, articles, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures; then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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