Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals are of the opinion that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while some people think that it is important for children to play as they learn in the classroom, i'm of the argument that it is very important for children to play while learning as it will help build their mental capacity.

In our present generation, most parents wants their child to start learning from the age of 1year, because they believe this will make them develop faster than their other peers or make them very smart, so they enroll them in school very early and also make them skip some basic elementry classes which they believe isn't adding value to their kids life. and most of the parents or guardians also informs the teachers at school, not to allow their kids engage in any playful activity and this might influence the school in changing the curriculum to strictly learning. Most schools now just focus or reading, writing and the serious part of academics and also give them a lot of academic assignment to take back home which will make them busy with their books, instead of playing with their mates.

However, most people have failed to understand that kids or children need to also be involved in fun activities as it will help them build other aspects of their life apart from academics, when playing is added to list to activities, it can can build their team work skill when playing with group of students, it can also improve how they communicate with other students, having to play can also be a form of relaxation or break from anything academics, it can also enhance the way they learn things. For example, documentry videos are played in the classroom so student can have a grasp understanding of wild animals this can look very fancy to them cause of the motion being displays and the visuals.

In conclusion, understanding that some schools focus too much on leaning can be a result of parents inputs in the schools curriculum, however it is also very importants for schools to try and balance the activities by including both fun activities and learning in school classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support combining play with learning, and you address both whether schools overemphasise formal study and the value of classroom play. Relevant benefits include teamwork, communication, relaxation and improved learning. The discussion of parents’ influence offers a possible explanation for the emphasis on academics, but it is generalised and does not fully establish how this leads schools to change their curricula. The documentary example is relevant to engaging children, though its connection to play could be explained more directly. To develop the response further, explain how play supports learning in practice and give a specific example, while making your degree of agreement with the first part of the question more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting the concern and benefits of play, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “However” helps the reader follow the shift in viewpoint, and the conclusion returns to the need for balance. Within paragraphs, though, several ideas are joined in long chains with repeated “and” or “also,” making relationships between points less clear. The second body paragraph lists benefits rather than developing them in a clear sequence, and the documentary example arrives without a strong link to the preceding point about play. Use shorter sentences, organise each paragraph around one main claim, and add precise links that show how each example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “curriculum,” “team work,” “communicate” and “relaxation.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “important,” “play” and “activities,” and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear. For example, “a grasp understanding” and “the motion being displays” make the documentary example difficult to interpret; “elementry” and “documentry” also show spelling control problems. Aim for more precise education-related phrasing and check word forms and spelling. Replacing broad expressions with terms such as “collaborative skills” or “hands-on learning” would make the argument clearer and more appropriate to the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including explanations with “because” and clauses introduced by “which,” so there is some structural variety. However, sentence control is uneven, particularly in the long opening and second paragraph, where several clauses are joined without clear punctuation. There are also errors in agreement and forms, such as “most parents wants,” “parents or guardians also informs,” and “when playing is added to list to activities.” Capitalisation and apostrophe use are inconsistent, as in “i'm” and “kids life.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall position, but they reduce accuracy. Practise breaking long sentences into manageable units and checking subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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