Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The people argue over the thing that primary schools focuses more on formal learning but neglects the necessity of physical activities in student's life.

The schools prefer formal learning because it has been carried out for a long period of time. They always want to improve the knowledge as well as the grades of the student. In this world the students are judged and are admitted in further educational institutions on the basis of their school grades. But the issue arises when the primary schools unsee the fact that the physical activities of students have an postive effect on their learning and knowledge grasping ability.

From the school's perspective they prefer formal education and learning methods as these methods are being carried out for a very long period of time. They may have recieved the positive benifits of these methods in terms of student's getting excellent grades in the subjects and thereby increasing the overall grades. This also improves the reputation of the schools by the fact that they helped the students to achieve high grades. But it's undeniable that only a few students are able to improve their grades through this type of learning.

The major aspect the school normally neglects are the achievments in the physical activities like sports are equally important in students life as the grades are. The theories that playing or physical activities helps students to cope up with the stress and improves their focus on the learning are often forgotten in the competition of grades. Some of the times the students who out perform others students in sports, get a new direction in their life. With the enough support of the faculties they could achieve higher success in the specific sport along with improving their knowledge. The practical example of this paragraph can be one of the great cricketer of all time Mr. Virat Kohli who achieved immense success in the field of sport but had difficulties in education. Because of his teachers and parents he could priortize the sport along with education.

In the end both playing as well as learning are equally important to achieve succes in life. It must be ensured by the schools that they give equal importance to both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both questions and presents a consistent view: schools should give physical activity and formal learning equal importance. You explain why schools prioritise grades, then discuss how sport can reduce stress, improve focus and offer children another route to success. The Virat Kohli example makes the argument more concrete. However, some points are less fully developed than others. For instance, the claim that only a few students improve their grades through formal learning is not explained, and the example does not clearly show how classroom play should be balanced with lessons. To strengthen the response, explain what practical classroom activities could achieve and develop the reasons behind your claims with clearer supporting detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, moving from the schools’ emphasis on grades to the value of sport and then to a concluding position. Paragraphs generally have a clear central topic, and linking expressions such as “But” and “In the end” help signal shifts. However, progression is sometimes repetitive: the second and third paragraphs both explain that schools favour formal learning because it is established and can produce high grades. Some connections between ideas are also unclear, particularly the move from sport’s benefits to the claim that only a few students improve through formal learning. Use each paragraph to develop a distinct point, and make references and transitions more precise so the argument flows without repeating itself.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “grades,” “stress” and “success,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “learning and knowledge grasping ability.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “unsee the fact,” “cope up with the stress” and “achievments in the physical activities.” Spelling errors such as “postive,” “recieved” and “benifits” are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling; for example, use “recognise the fact,” “cope with stress” and “achievements in sport.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when” and “that,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, control is uneven, and errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction recur. For example, “primary schools focuses” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “an postive effect” uses the wrong article. In “The major aspect the school normally neglects are,” the singular subject does not agree with “are.” Some sentences also become awkwardly constructed, such as “The theories that playing or physical activities helps students…” Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, article use, and clause structure, while keeping complex sentences clear and manageable.

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