Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that elementary school prioritizes structured learning more than sports. I agree with people that lower schools focus too much on learning and barely let children play.

Lower schools have been made for building the foundation of students when pursuing higher education. Lower schools provide the basis for higher education. For that particular reason, primary schools prioritize teaching the students. They try to prepare the students for the college or university level. I believe that learning is essential for students growing up. It gives them options for the future. However, excessive learning is neither healthy nor should be focused on. It should be blended in with some kind of sports for students to play. Not everyone is interested in studying and maybe some like to play football. If they spend their whole time learning, what about their interests and hobbies?

I personally believe that playing at elementary school is just as important as learning in the classrooms. Students should not be constrained in the classrooms. Primary schools should also let students play and focus on the development of talented players. For instance, in Pakistan, many lower schools and high schools neither have grounds nor teams. Even at university level, most universities do not have grounds or teams. However, in some universities, like Agriculture, where there are grounds, many students lose their desire to play because they have not played in a while. I think that schools should have proper grounds for students to play. They should give students an hour of play to refresh their minds.

In conclusion, grade schools are putting too much effort into teaching the students and into their learning. They ignore the importance of letting students play and take away their desire to play when the students grow up.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal learning, and you address both the balance between learning and play and the value of play. The point that learning supports future opportunities is relevant, while your discussion of limited sports facilities in Pakistan gives a concrete example. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that schools should develop “talented players” is not explained, and the example of students losing their desire to play could be linked more clearly to the effects of play on children’s overall development. To strengthen the response, explain these points and support your view with specific benefits such as social skills, health, or concentration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main ideas generally follow a sensible order. Phrases such as “However” and “For instance” help signal contrast and example. At times, though, progression is weakened by repetition: the opening body paragraph says twice that primary schools provide a basis for higher education, and the conclusion repeats the central claim without adding a final implication. Some links between ideas are also abrupt, particularly the move from students’ interests to the need to develop talented players. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports; vary references to schools and learning to make the flow less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the topic, including relevant terms such as “foundation,” “excessive learning,” “interests and hobbies,” and “development.” The example about school grounds and teams also shows an attempt to use topic-specific language. However, several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including repeated use of “lower schools” and “students,” while “sports” does not fully capture the broader idea of play in the question. Some collocations sound unnatural, such as “focus on the development of talented players” and “give students an hour of play.” Aim for more precise, varied wording and natural combinations, for example, “provide opportunities for physical activity” or “set aside time for play.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, and most of the meaning remains clear. For example, “If they spend their whole time learning, what about their interests and hobbies?” uses a conditional structure effectively, while “However, in some universities…” introduces a contrast. Some grammatical choices are less controlled. In “I agree with people that,” the construction is awkward; “I agree that” would be more natural. The sentence beginning “For instance, in Pakistan…” is long and difficult to follow, and “where there are grounds” has an unclear reference. Break longer sentences into clearer units and check clause structure, articles and punctuation. More consistent control of these features would make your argument easier to read.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.