Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, learning has become an essential part of life. Some people believe that primary schools only focus on formal learning. I believe that learning and playing both play crucial role for children. In this essay, I will discuss and give my opinion.

On the one hand, learning plays vital role in human lives. It is important for children to study well for their bright future. Learning is the key of success so formal learning is very important for children during the primary school. During school life children learn behavior, emotions and discipline through theoritical knowledge, where moral of the every story help them to understand the society and culture. Formal knowledge help them to know simple and useful fundamentals of life which are important key factors of life survival.

On the other hand, formal learning only cannot provide children growth. Learning with playing is more helpful. For an example, Isaac Newton who was sitting under the tree and when apple fell down, he started thinking and came to the conclusion of gravity law. Thomas Alwa Edison was also a great example. During the primary school, his teacher did not trust him and said he was not intelligent however, he was the one who invented the bulb. So ideas come through creative and logical thinking which children can improve by playing and not only through formal learning. Playing games and arranging functions improve the knowledge of children about cultures and rituals in society where these children are supposed to live.

In conclusion, I would have to say that only formal learning is not enough for children growth. Primary schools should focus on learning and playing both for children growth and their bright future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that formal learning matters but should be balanced with play. You address both questions, explaining the value of classroom learning and why play can support creativity and social understanding. The examples of Newton and Edison help illustrate your point, and the conclusion restates your view. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that formal knowledge teaches “fundamentals of life survival” is broad, and the historical examples do not clearly show how play in a primary classroom develops children’s abilities. To strengthen the response, explain specific classroom activities and their benefits, and make your degree of agreement with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. Some connections, however, feel mechanical or unclear. The first body paragraph moves from future success to behaviour and then to survival without showing how these points relate. In the second, the Newton and Edison examples are linked to play, but the connection is not fully established. There is also repetition of “learning,” “children,” and “formal learning.” Group related points more tightly, use clearer references between sentences, and add transitions that explain cause and effect rather than relying mainly on set phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “discipline,” “theoretical knowledge,” “creative and logical thinking,” and “cultures and rituals.” These choices help communicate the topic, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision: “learning plays vital role,” “key of success,” and “important key factors of life survival” do not sound natural in this context. There are also spelling errors such as “theoritical” and “Alwa.” Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, describe learning as “a vital role” or “a key to success,” and use precise terms for the skills children gain through play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional-style contrast in “formal learning only cannot provide children growth” and a relative clause in “the one who invented the bulb.” The overall meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Articles and agreement are missing in phrases such as “plays vital role” and “Formal knowledge help,” while “children growth” needs a possessive form. The Newton sentence beginning “who was sitting under the tree and when apple fell down” is also difficult to control and would be clearer as two shorter sentences. Practise articles, subject–verb agreement, possessives, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to vary sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.