Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A few individuals claim that Primary schools put stress on student's physical activities. It is very significant that with the mentally a child should be strong by physically, then he will achieve their goal easily.

Initially, the combination of both adjustment and also to be strong from both sides a student can work hard then he will stay on the specific goal. For instance, if we give a physical activity to our children, they will go to school with interest but if we forced only reading books an also education activities, he never growth very well and quickly. It creates a bad impact on their mind and brain.

On the other hand, sports and play is not the waste of time because its help them in physical strength and its refresh their mind. Due to this, they can get knowledge very quickly and its build more interest in study. For Instance, when students make team through teams, they can learn lot of different skills and a team also help to solve the particular issue. Sports and exercise also improve the focus, ability and also interest in study. Sometime due to too much burden of education puts the students in stress and its cause the students learning. At the end the child forgets the interest in studies, and he trapped from his path.

In my opinion, I strongly agree with the formal learning in schools and colleges because its play a very important part in their life and encourage them for higher education and also support them in the upcoming life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises that children need both formal learning and physical activity, and it gives relevant reasons, including improved concentration, interest in study, and teamwork. However, the task is only partially addressed: the opening misstates the prompt by saying schools “put stress on student's physical activities,” and the final opinion focuses on agreeing with formal learning rather than clearly stating how much you agree that schools focus too much on it. The importance of play is discussed, but the argument is not developed consistently, and examples remain general rather than specific. To strengthen the response, state a clear position on both questions in the introduction and conclusion, then explain each reason with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “Initially,” “On the other hand,” and “In my opinion” signal stages in the argument. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph contains unclear ideas, while “On the other hand” introduces a point that largely supports the same view rather than contrasting with it. Connections between sentences are often weak, and references such as “its” and “they” do not always make clear what is being discussed. Use paragraphs with one clear central point each, link reasons to examples explicitly, and choose transitions that accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “physical activity,” “team,” “focus,” “burden,” and “higher education,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “combination of both adjustment” does not express a clear idea, and “he trapped from his path” is not a natural way to describe losing direction. There are also repeated forms such as “interest” and “study.” Build a more precise vocabulary for play and learning, and check that each phrase is natural in context; the suggestions below offer practical alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if we give a physical activity to our children, they will go to school with interest.” This shows some willingness to use more than basic sentence patterns. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make parts of the response hard to understand. For example, “sports and play is” should use a plural verb, while “he will achieve their goal” mixes pronouns. The sentence beginning “Sometime due to too much burden” is also structurally incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add clauses and check that pronouns and verbs agree.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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