Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often claimed that elementary schools highly emphasis on academic studies. I partly agree with this claim as I think that there must be a balance between both studies and other co-curricular.

On one hand, the tradition education at elementary level plays a cruical role in life as it is the basic foundation for secondary and higher education if a student lacks this then there is not a chance that he can excel and achieve something big in studies. In addition to that, a curriculam with proper academic goals is just a waste of time and it can cause a gap between weak and strong students. Futhermore, in today's world success is measured with grades therefore, teachers have to make sure students must meet these criteria and perform with great excellence.

On the other hand, there must be some other co-curricular activites like singing, drawing, sports etc as it is a famous saying all fingers are not equal. I believe if a student is not good in studies it might be a good in other things. For instance, most sportsmen are average in studies but they built their careers in sports. Concurrently, there must some exercises related to creativity as it is a major part of life and a habit of thinking out of box for difficult things is as necessary as traditional learning. Lastly, these activites also motivates students in maintaining a healther life style and help them to get relax and stress free from activities purely related to studies.

To sum up, I firmly believe there must be a balance between both the thing because both aspects have different effects and help to shape the personality of students from their childhood.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partly agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, and your conclusion reinforces the need for balance. You address both academic study and other activities, giving relevant examples such as sports and creativity. However, the classroom-play part of the question is less fully answered: you mention singing, drawing and sports, but do not explain clearly how play should be incorporated into classroom learning or give a specific example of its educational value. Some claims also need more development, such as the assertion that grades measure success and that a curriculum with academic goals is a waste of time. Explain these points and connect them more directly to children’s needs to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs present contrasting considerations, and a conclusion restates your view. Linking phrases such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” make the progression easy to follow. This organisation is effective, and the main ideas are generally grouped appropriately. To strengthen cohesion further, make the relationship between some sentences more explicit; for example, the point about academic goals being “a waste of time” does not clearly follow from the preceding claim about foundational learning. Some transitions, including “Concurrently” and “Lastly,” feel mechanical, while “both the thing” is an unclear reference. Use more precise links and refer back to ideas explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “basic foundation,” “co-curricular activities,” “creativity,” and “maintaining a healthier lifestyle,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at topic-specific language. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “emphasis” where a verb is needed, “cruical,” “curriculam,” “Futhermore,” and “activites.” Some combinations are unnatural, such as “traditional education,” “get relax,” and “thinking out of box.” Choose more natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary for play-based learning and child development would also help you express your argument with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, using clauses with “as,” “if,” and “that,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some sentences are controlled, such as “I partly agree with this claim as I think that there must be a balance.” However, several grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “if a student lacks this then there is not a chance” needs clearer punctuation and a more natural clause structure; “it might be a good in other things” has an incorrect construction; and “there must some exercises” is missing a verb. There are also agreement errors in “these activities also motivates” and “help them to get relax.” Review verb agreement, missing verbs, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to practise complex sentences.

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