Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, majority of the primary schools focus too much on the formal learning and completely neglect the part sports play in the development of children. I completely agree with the opinion that while keeping in mind the importance of formal learning, Primary schools should not completely neglect the importance of sports and physcial activities.

I completely agree witht the arguement that formal learning is extremely beneficial for the practical and professional life of children, but sports and physcial activities have their own parts in shaping the life of the little ones. While sports and physical activites are extremely important for the physical growth of youngsters. It also teaches them very crucial aspects of the life that formal learning can never teach. For example sports like cricket, football helps the kids how to work in a team, these are the sports that you can never win individually. This specific skill helps you in professional life aswell when you are supposed to work in a team.

Another major reason is that too much formal learning is killing the desire of the students to go school. Beacuse kids often don't want to sit on a chair for whole day learning from books. They want some extra curriculum activites included in their daily routine. In many developing countries like Pakistan, India with schools focusing too much on the formal learning. Those kids who are extreme passionate about the sports often end up quitting their schools, in order to follow their passion.

In conclusion, obviously learning should be the priority in schools. Infact, this is the main thing for which parents send their kids to school. But sports and fun activities should also be given equall importance in primary schools as this teaches more about the life than any academic book can ever can.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you agree that formal learning can be overemphasised, while arguing that sport and other activities also matter. You address both questions by explaining benefits such as teamwork and children’s motivation to attend school, and you support these points with examples involving team sports and children in Pakistan and India. This gives the response relevant development and a clear line of argument. However, the discussion sometimes generalises—for example, the claim that passionate young athletes “often end up quitting their schools” is not explained or supported in detail. The importance of play in the classroom is also less fully explored than the benefits of sport. Develop this aspect with a specific example of how play can support learning, while maintaining your clear position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs give reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. The ideas generally progress logically from physical and social development to motivation and school attendance. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “Another major reason,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. To make the organisation more fluent, avoid relying on these explicit signposts and strengthen the links between related points. For instance, the sentence beginning “While sports and physical activities…” is left as a fragment before “It also teaches them…”, interrupting the flow. Some references, such as “these are the sports,” could also be made more precise. More varied, accurate connections would make the progression feel less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical growth,” “work in a team,” and “professional life,” so your main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “follow their passion” and “extra curriculum activities.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors are noticeable. Examples include “physcial,” “activites,” and “Beacuse,” as well as the unnatural phrase “sports have their own parts in shaping the life.” “Extra curriculum” is also better expressed as “extracurricular.” These issues sometimes make the wording less natural, even when the intended meaning is clear. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing play, learning, and child development, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “that,” and “when.” This allows you to explain reasons and give examples, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex structures are not consistently controlled. “While sports and physical activities are extremely important for the physical growth of youngsters” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, and “It also teaches them” has an unclear singular reference after plural “activities.” Other examples include the missing article in “majority of the primary schools” and the awkward construction “helps the kids how to work in a team.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention. Practise completing subordinate clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.