Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The following statement that people argue the emphasis on formal education by the primary school, I genuinely believe this statement.

As playing and learning should be corelate with each other.

Its important for the children to receive formal education but its also equally important for the children to play. As playing different type of games having multiple activities in the childhood makes the children more efficient in decision making ; while playing it builds your mind more sharper and makes you more confident compare to the kids who don't play. Study shows that the children who play games often in their childhood makes better decisions and have done better in life practically that the children who don't. While playing you constantly have to make choices, play to win or lose that results in to having a mindset to never give up and keep trying to be better than before. As a result people have the never giving up attitude in their adult life.

The formal education is important and should be the priority we can't deny that but playing for children should also be the priority as well. It develops the rational side of the brain more efficiently. One more important thing that should be considered as while playing the game should help the kid to more creative and productive. It should make the kid learn new things and help them academically as well.

In conclusion it's important to focus on both the things. Make playing fun and educational as well for children. This way they can learn efficiently and effectively within a short span.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning should not dominate, while also stating that it remains important. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining benefits of play, such as decision-making, confidence and persistence, and by arguing that games can support academic learning. These relevant points support the response well. However, the discussion of how much primary schools currently emphasise formal learning is brief, and several claims—such as that children who play make better decisions and do better in life—are asserted rather than illustrated with a specific example. The idea that games should be creative and productive is also not fully explained. More balanced development and a concrete classroom example would make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening position, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally relate to the central argument, and linking expressions such as “As a result” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: the benefits of play are listed in several similar ways without a clear hierarchy or distinct supporting example. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the standalone sentence about play and learning does not connect smoothly to it. Some references, such as “both the things,” are vague. To strengthen organisation, give each body paragraph one main focus, develop it with an example, and use clearer links between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “decision making,” “rational side,” and “academically,” and you attempt to express more specific ideas about the effects of play. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “play,” “important,” “children,” and “makes,” while several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “more sharper,” “compare to the kids,” and “never giving up attitude.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less precise, even though the general argument remains understandable. Aim to vary repeated terms and learn natural combinations, for example, “develop decision-making skills” and “build resilience,” rather than translating ideas word by word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect sequence beginning “As a result,” and a conditional idea about games helping children learn. However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “The following statement … I genuinely believe this statement” is not a complete, well-formed opening, while “Study shows that the children … makes” has problems with the subject and verb. Apostrophes are also missing in “Its important” and “its also.” Practise building accurate complex sentences from a clear main clause, and check agreement and punctuation before adding extra clauses.

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