Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, a significant shift has been observed in primary schools education, there is a lot of focus on formal learning, while less focus on play and creativity, therefore some people argue that schools focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement, because formal learning alone won't help creating a creative educated generation that will benefit his society.

On the one hand, the shift that schools witnessed in recent times and the much focus on formal learning with little to no space for the children to play had a lot of impact on kids in many aspects. For the psychological aspect, it added much stress on kids, taking away from them the time to play and the things they could have experienced as a kids, creating a generation of robotic kids with little creativity. Some kids get depressed in a very young age due to this. It is important for kids to have play time in primary schools, but this doesn't mean we neglect formal learning, balancing both can have much better impact on the children when it comes to learning and education. Analysts did a study on a group of children in Japan and found that 80% of the children who play a sport alongside studying got better results than kids who study without any time for play or a hobby. What is surprising about this study that they also found out that these kids spent less hours studying.

On the other hand, some individuals believe that making children play in schools will have a negative impact on the learning process. There's also a huge amount of information that kids need to study with very little time available, thus, there's no time or need for playing. another argument is that it is that the role of schools is only for studies not playing.

In conclusion, I firmly believe in a balanced solution between study and play. This will help to enhance the creativity of children and make them the good future of their society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you directly address the importance of combining study with play. The discussion of stress, creativity and the reported Japanese study gives relevant support, while the opposing view—that schools have limited time and a large amount of content to teach—shows awareness of another perspective. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the counterargument is stated briefly and not answered in detail, and the study is presented without explaining how its findings support classroom play more broadly. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely what kinds of play benefit learning and connect each example to your position. This would make the ideas more fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the overall direction easy to follow, and the main position remains consistent. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The first body paragraph moves from psychological effects to a study about sports results without clearly explaining the link, while the second paragraph lists objections but does not develop their relationship to the main argument. The opening sentence also joins several complete ideas with commas, making the progression less controlled. Use clearer topic sentences and add linking explanations between claims and examples; this would make cohesion less mechanical and the argument’s progression more consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “creativity,” “psychological aspect,” “negative impact” and “balanced solution.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and attempts at more specific language help the response address education and children’s wellbeing. Some word choices and collocations are imprecise or repetitive, such as “much focus,” “better impact,” “the good future of their society” and “robotic kids.” “Study” and “learning” also recur frequently, limiting flexibility. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and precise descriptions—for example, describe children as “under excessive academic pressure” rather than “robotic,” and refer to a “positive effect” rather than a “better impact.” Greater control of collocation would make the vocabulary more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “while” and “when,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some sentences are controlled, such as “I partially agree with this statement,” but errors in sentence boundaries, agreement and sentence construction reduce accuracy. The opening joins independent clauses with commas, and “formal learning alone won't help creating” needs a different verb pattern. In “the things they could have experienced as a kids,” the article and plural do not agree; “another argument” also begins a sentence without a capital letter. The phrase “What is surprising about this study that…” is missing a linking verb structure. Review comma splices, verb patterns and agreement, then proofread sentence openings and punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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