Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Individuals believe primary schools focuses too much with formal learning i personally agree with this statement and i believe it is very important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school.

On the one hand,schools tend to focus on formal teaching because teachers use traditional method to teach chilren the main focus of teachers is to sharpen children's brain and make them ready for future education. The structure of formal learning does produce positive results for schools reputation and high grades but certainly plenty of pupils may develop anxiety and study pressure from young age as formal learning does not look after mental health and overall being of children. For instance i always suffered from study pressure and anxiety the starting point of my problem was formal teaching in primary schools i always had pressure to score good marks and completing homework in time but overtime This strict form of learning started to effect my mental just because of institutuionalizesd learning method.

As formal learning have many negative points i believe children should get play time in schools young kids usually interact with each other when they do certain time of activities like sports when they coordinate they get exciited and it also reduce pressure as well anxiety as playtime sure can improve mental health but also contributes to better physical health and overall wellbeing of students,If schools starts to combine teachings and fun activities children will benefit from it.Like nowadyas schools are impleminting this method and newer generation children are becoming smarter as well physical better.

In summary,Formal learning can cause stress and mental health issue so to counter that problem schools should establish fun activities and sports which can benefit children and their stress and anxiety can be reduced if they interact with other pupils during fun activites..

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that schools overemphasise formal learning and consider play important. You address both questions, explaining that formal study may create pressure and that play can support social interaction and physical and mental wellbeing. Your personal example of experiencing anxiety adds relevant support. This meets the task well, and some of the reasoning is developed, but the two sides are not equally specific: the claim that formal learning improves school reputation and grades is not explained, and the point about newer generations becoming smarter is broad and unsupported. To strengthen the response further, explain how a particular classroom activity helps children learn, and develop your examples rather than relying on general claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on formal learning, a paragraph advocating play, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the one hand” and the transition to “As formal learning have many negative points” help readers follow the main argument. However, several sentences contain multiple ideas joined with commas, so the progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track. The conclusion also repeats the stress-and-play argument rather than drawing the points together, and “In summary” is followed by a long, loosely connected sentence. Use full stops to separate claims, make links between each example and its main point explicit, and vary transitions so they guide the argument without sounding formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “study pressure,” “mental health,” “coordinate,” and “overall wellbeing.” These choices make your main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited and some wording is inaccurate or unnatural, which keeps expression from being consistently clear and precise. Examples include “focuses too much with formal learning,” “sharpen children's brain,” and “physical better”; these phrases do not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors such as “chilren,” “exciited,” and “impleminting” also detract from accuracy. Build a bank of natural collocations about education and child development, and proofread spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “If schools starts to combine teachings and fun activities children will benefit from it.” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but control is inconsistent: the conditional has a subject–verb agreement error, and several long sentences are joined without appropriate punctuation. Other examples include “primary schools focuses,” “formal learning have,” and “it also reduce pressure,” where agreement is inaccurate. Capitalisation and sentence boundaries also need attention, particularly after full stops and at the start of the conclusion. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and correctly matched verb, then divide sentences that contain several separate claims. This will make your meaning easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.