Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary society, Many individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on structured learning. While, It is crucial for children to play along with learn in the primary school classroom. I partially agree with this given assertion to large extent, because both are important for children growth. Learning helps to become educated person and play makes physical fit and healthy.

Firstly, the main reason for focus on formal in primary school because it helps to learn step by step. Structured study make things better or easy for learners. This is beacuse, students obejectives, goals and task responsibilities are clear for there personal and professional career. Most of the pupils choose their interest at the beginning of the education which really help to them. For instance, teacher plays an important role to choose right track for children as they have potential and capabilities. Academic career makes a student discipline, consitent and produce interset to participated in curriculum activities which enhances their mind ability.

On the other hand, many people believe that play is an important for children besides learn with academic learning. Owing to imporve their health and well-being which supports to learner. It opens children creativity and makes more efficient in academic and sports. Sports gives an opportunity to scholars to test their abilities by physical fitness and smart mind ideas. For illustrate, Pre school should be arrange competitions for students because of it generates self ability and provides a challenge which can allows to become stronger one.

In the conclusion, both argue facilitates through their on journey. Formal learning assists in career opportunity achievements and play gives a time to spend other activities which really good for positive thinking and confidence. It ensure to communication skills well and well manners which are useful in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing formal learning and the value of play, and your position is that both matter. However, the extent of your agreement is not fully clear: “I partially agree … to large extent” sends mixed signals, and the essay does not explain specifically whether schools currently give too much attention to formal study. Several points are relevant but under-developed. For example, you say structured study clarifies goals and supports careers, but do not show why this means primary schools should prioritise it. The discussion of play mentions health, creativity and confidence, yet gives little detail about how classroom play supports learning. State your position precisely and develop each main reason with a clear explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. “Firstly” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the two sides, so the reader can follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track because several claims are placed together without clear links. In the first body paragraph, the move from step-by-step learning to career goals, pupils’ interests and teachers choosing a track is not fully explained. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or awkward, such as “For illustrate” and “Owing to improve their health.” Use topic sentences that directly answer the question, then connect each supporting point to the main claim with clear references and logical transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “structured learning,” “curriculum activities,” “physical fitness,” and “confidence.” This gives you some useful topic coverage, but the range is limited and a number of word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the message unclear. Examples include “play along with learn,” “makes physical fit,” “opens children creativity,” and “test their abilities by physical fitness.” There are also misspellings such as “beacuse,” “obejectives,” and “consitent.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than inserting formal-sounding words: for instance, explain that play “develops creativity” or “supports children’s physical well-being.” Proofreading spelling and word forms will make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including a concessive opening with “While” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “While, It is crucial for children to play along with learn” is not a complete, correctly formed contrast, while “Structured study make things better” has a subject–verb agreement error. Other problems include missing or incorrect articles and sentence patterns, as in “play is an important” and “Pre school should be arrange competitions.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, such as the capital letters after commas in the introduction. Practise complete clauses, agreement, articles and verb forms, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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