Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I agree with this opinion that the primary schools focus too much on formal learning.The education from class one to five is called primary education.For these education schools have been constructed.Primary schools are the first step for education the student who pass the primary school then go to secandary school.

In my opinion,primary school are made to built the students for higher education.Primary schools are the base of new students.Education is the basic need for every student and it is the right.

First of all,students goes too school at the age between 5 to 8 for playing and to see the other class fellows.It is very important for childerns to play for their physical health.Sports and games are very important for human in any age.When the student entered in a classroom they get many manners from teachers.Childrens have to play as well as learning.In primary classroom children can play and learn lesson and it is very important.The primary school teachers also play with childrens and give education to students.

When i,entered in my primary school classroom i,didnot know anyone.When the class teacher arrived and ask some questions i,didnot gave answer of any question.The teacher read a poem ''A Dancing girl''in urdu language all the childern smiling then my teacher read english letters like ''a,s,d,e,r,t,g'' after a time i,know it is the basics of english.My teacher can also play games with me and my classmates.We also play games like ludo,ping pong and cricket etc.Both learning and playing is very important for childerns.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear view that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you address the importance of play by describing its benefits for children’s physical health and social interaction. Your personal memory of a teacher using a poem and games is relevant and helps illustrate how play and learning can coexist. However, the explanation of why formal learning is excessive remains brief, and several points—such as “Education is the basic need”—are asserted rather than developed. The response also contains 244 words, six below the required minimum; the eight words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop your reasons further and explain more directly how classroom play should balance formal lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an opening position, general comments about primary education, reasons for play, and a personal example. This gives the reader some sense of direction, and phrases such as “First of all” signal a new point. However, ideas are not consistently grouped or connected: the opening repeats that primary school is a foundation, while the personal anecdote arrives without a clear transition from the general discussion. Linking is also limited, and some sentences run together, making relationships between ideas harder to follow. Use separate paragraphs for your position, the benefits of play, and your example, then connect them with clear references such as “This experience shows…”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical health,” “teachers,” and “classmates,” and the reader can generally understand your main points. However, the range is narrow and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “primary school,” “important,” “play,” and “students.” Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, such as “built the students for higher education” and “get many manners from teachers.” Spelling errors, including “secandary” and “childerns,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling; for example, describe schools as “preparing pupils for further education” and say children “learn social skills” from teachers and peers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate your main ideas using mostly simple statements, and there are attempts to combine ideas, for example, “When the class teacher arrived and ask some questions…” However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the writing difficult to read. Examples include “students goes,” “the teacher…ask,” “I didnot gave,” and “primary school are made.” Commas and full stops are often missing or misplaced, and the repeated “I,” constructions interrupt the flow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “when,” and “while.” Check subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms when describing your school experience.

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