Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I am totally agree from this point of view. From my perspective sports and games are also crucial for a student. Today the schools only promote learning and studies which is totally wrong.

On one hand, schools only focus learning and promote cramming and rote learning.Consequently, a student becomes sick and only focus on studies. He does not spends time with friends and playing in the play ground. Teachers and schools only concentrates on good grades. These grades not develop the personality of a student. Mostly, schools consider sports as a waste of time.

On the other hand, I totally consider it wrong. Sports are also important for a children and it develop the personality of the student. Sports brings out the natural capabilities of the students and make him creative rather than just concentrate on learning which promotes his only learning ability. In the play ground a student have to deal every situation calmly. Moreover, he have to consider all the points and make the right and fair decision. Sports makes a student physically fit as well as mentally. As a result, student will be successful in his practical life. For instance, government of Italy introduced a lot of sports in their primary schools which proved that sports had a great impact on students behaviour and personality.

In conclusion, we should also take steps to improve our students health by introducing sports in our primary schools. Sports has really make a student more active and creative. In short, only concentrate on formal way of learning is not good for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you explain why sports and play matter. You address both parts of the question by criticising rote learning and describing benefits such as fitness, creativity, and decision-making. These are relevant ideas, but some are more fully explained than others. For example, the claim that grades do not develop personality is asserted rather than supported, and the Italy example is too general to show what changed or how. To strengthen the response, develop one or two points with a specific classroom example and explain more directly how play should balance formal lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify your main position and supporting points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: several benefits of sport are listed without showing how they connect, and the contrast between the two body paragraphs is not fully logical because both support your view. Some linking phrases, such as “As a result” and “In short,” are used, but connections can feel mechanical or repetitive. Group related benefits together, use clearer references to earlier ideas, and make each paragraph’s central point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “rote learning,” “natural capabilities,” “physically fit,” and “personality.” This gives you enough language to communicate your main ideas. However, several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, such as “learning and studies,” “only focus,” and “sports are also important.” Some word combinations are unnatural, including “deal every situation calmly” and “practical life,” which reduce precision. Aim to use a wider range of accurate collocations and avoid repeating “student,” “sports,” and “learning” so often. More precise phrasing would make your arguments sound clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a result clause beginning “As a result” and a relative clause in “which promotes his only learning ability.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences harder to follow. Examples include “I am totally agree,” “a student becomes sick and only focus,” and “he have to consider,” where verb forms or subject–verb agreement are incorrect. Articles and plurals also need attention, as in “for a children” and “a student have to deal.” Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and use a wider range of structures with more consistent control.

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