Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

yeah , i am also studying in the school and i thought there is a important role of games as well as study. people say that primary school focus on formal learning. But formal learning is a starting of a bright future Because if we have no common learning and no idea how to speak ,how our body language Then the learning we have learnt is waste .so, my opinion is we learn both formal and informal .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You give a relevant overall position: “we learn both formal and informal,” and you recognise that games have an important role alongside study. However, the response addresses the two questions only minimally. It does not explain how much you agree that schools focus too heavily on formal learning, or develop why classroom play matters; the brief reference to a “bright future” and “body language” is not supported with a clear example. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, so there is not enough explanation or evidence to fulfil the task. To improve, state your degree of agreement directly, then develop each part with reasons and a specific example from school or experience.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic line of thought: you introduce the importance of both games and study, give a reason for formal learning, and conclude that children need both. The contrast signalled by “But” and the concluding “so” help show this simple progression. However, the response is one short, continuous paragraph, and the ideas are not clearly separated or developed. The sequence from “bright future” to “how to speak” and “body language” is difficult to follow, while “Then the learning…” does not clearly connect to the preceding point. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and conclusion, and connect each reason to its explanation with clear referencing and linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “games,” “study,” and “body language,” so the general subject is identifiable. However, the range is narrow and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “a starting of a bright future” and “the learning we have learnt is waste.” These choices make parts of the argument harder to understand and show limited control of collocation and word forms. Aim for more precise phrases such as “a foundation for future success” and “the knowledge we gain is valuable.” You could also use topic-specific terms such as “play-based activities,” “social skills,” and “academic learning” to express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “Because” and “if,” and the reader can identify your general meaning. However, sentence structures are limited and several errors affect clarity. In “there is a important role,” the article does not agree with the following vowel sound; “primary school focus” also has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Because if we have no common learning…” is incomplete and contains unclear clause structure, while punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause and correctly attached supporting clauses. Check articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, then read your work aloud to identify where a sentence becomes difficult to follow.

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