Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and this is observed in many schools, especially in rural areas. In this essay, I will discuss my agreement with this opinion and also discuss the importance of sports along with learning.

On the one hand, in primary schools, children are usually limited to formal learning only; they focus only on their academics, which often leads to children's continuous absenteeism from school. For instance, in rural areas like Kaghan, where primary schools have hectic schedules for children, they engage them in academic activities; this environment makes students feel suffocated and less interested in their studies, which results in poor grades. This system is not satisfactory because children in these schools learn nothing about other skills; even later in their lives, their learning ability revolves only around theory, and they find it very difficult to implement these theories in real-life practice.

On the other hand, if schools provide time for sports, it will help them stay fresh and motivate them to attend school throughout the week. Additionally, some institutes provide games that can help them to improve their mental process and problem-solving ability. For example, in China, children are kept busy learning daily necessary activities and skills; students can enjoy and learn at the same time, and these activities also show them smart work. That is why China is introducing new technologies each day and is considered one of the most developed countries.

To conclude the essay, primary schools should not limit children to formal learning and they should give students play time in which they can enjoy and learn other skills also.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear view: schools should not restrict children to formal study, and play should be included. The Kaghan example supports your concern about academic pressure, while the discussion of games and problem-solving explains some benefits of play. These relevant points meet the task well, and the conclusion restates your position. To make the response more fully developed, explain more directly how play should complement classroom learning, rather than shifting mainly to sports and general activities. The claim that academic schedules cause absenteeism, and the link between Chinese activities and the country’s technological development, need clearer reasoning or more specific support. This would make the argument more convincing and balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the broad contrast, and examples are placed within the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first moves from academic pressure to absenteeism, poor grades and later practical ability without clearly showing how each point connects. The China example also shifts from classroom activities to national technological progress. Some linking phrases, including “That is why,” imply a stronger causal connection than the paragraph establishes. Use clearer topic sentences and explain each example’s relevance before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “academic activities,” “problem-solving ability” and “real-life practice.” These choices allow you to communicate the main argument, and expressions such as “feel suffocated” convey the effect of pressure. However, some word choices and combinations are imprecise or repetitive, which limits clarity and flexibility. For example, “continuous absenteeism” is an awkward way to describe students missing school, and “improve their mental process” is unclear. “Smart work” and “daily necessary activities” are also vague in this context. Aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “learning” and “activities”; this will make your examples and claims more exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “where primary schools have hectic schedules” and a conditional structure beginning “if schools provide time for sports.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and punctuation generally supports readability. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction and agreement. In “it will help them stay fresh and motivate them,” the pronoun “it” does not clearly match the plural subject “time”; a clearer construction would be “this time will help children stay fresh and motivate them.” The phrase “children’s continuous absenteeism” also makes the sentence structure awkward, while “their learning ability revolves only around theory” has an unclear reference. Review pronoun reference and sentence structure to improve control.

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