Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that the the primary schools emphasis in formal learning. I partly agree that this view, because the academic learning is essential for students development, too much fand ocus on textbooks and examinations can lilmit their creativity and social skills.

First argument is that the traditional education is creates many source of skills and also students understand their topics easily. Furthermore, the individuals learn more reading, writing and mathematics and then their base foundation is very strong, because they learn about these topics very easily and time is mantain in study and social activities. Other is that students easily study to the next level topics and they not face the any difficulties, because they know that about these subjects.for instance, when students study like writing and reading they easily study because schools develope skills when they was study at lower level.

Second argument is that the when schools are study more in academic education, then students feel more stress and more burden of studies, so they did not focus on their study properly. Other main argument is that when students have more burden they do not participate in sports activities and many other games, thus they did not any work properly, because they have no time to play any activities. For example, when students study more and they have no time to play activities and fell in stress.

In short, in my opinion, when schools focus too much they are very benefits for students in their topics, but some student feel more burden and they do not work well in any fields.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a partly agreeing position and include relevant points about academic foundations, stress, and time for play. For example, you explain that reading, writing, and mathematics can prepare pupils for later study, while excessive academic pressure may reduce participation in games. However, the position is not consistently clear: the conclusion says that focusing too much is “very benefits,” which seems to conflict with your concern about burden. The importance of play in the classroom is mentioned mainly as a way to avoid stress, rather than being explained through its benefits, such as cooperation, physical development, or learning through practical activities. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation or specific example, and make your final view consistent with your opening.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate academic learning from the effects of pressure. You also use signposts such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “In short.” However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas repeat or connect unclearly. The first body paragraph moves from foundational skills to time management and then to later study without showing how these points relate. Phrases such as “Other is that” and “Second argument is that the when” are awkward transitions, while “because” is repeated to link several claims. Organise each paragraph around one main idea, explain it in a logical sequence, and use clearer references and linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “creativity,” “social skills,” “burden,” and “sports activities.” This gives you a basic range for discussing schooling and play. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or inaccurately combined, which sometimes makes your meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “creates many source of skills,” “base foundation,” and “participate in sports activities and many other games.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “lilmit,” “mantain,” and “develope.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; more precise expressions would help you explain the educational and social benefits of play without repeating general terms such as “study” and “activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “so,” but the longer structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For instance, “the traditional education is creates” combines incompatible verb forms, and “when students study like writing and reading they easily study” has an unclear clause structure. Articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “the the primary schools” and “some student feel.” These problems can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check verb forms, singular and plural agreement, articles, and punctuation before combining sentences.

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