Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, all the institute are given more priority to academic activity. On that note, few peole believe that primary schools give more attention to academic standards I completely disagree with this given statement. This essay will discuss the reasons behind thhis phenomenon.

There are numerous resons justifying my opinion. To begin with students have a less time for outdoor games because they spend much time for classroom learning. For example, students go to school for 10.00 am to 5.00 pm and after that they are attend a tution classes for 6.00 to 8.000 pm, so they are not allocate time for the outdoor activities. Secondly, children get streesed because they have highly academic pressure like homework, classwork, exams and many more. Therefore, perents should given less pressur to their child.

Thre are many advantages associated behind this trend. Firstly, children learn about the discipline with the help of their teachers and parents because school teaches better way to the students how to maintain discipline. For Instance, teachers are teach to their students that always come on time and respect to the elderly people. In addition to that, play is also important for the children because it helps to develop them physically. I other words, oudoor sports improve the children fitness which is very important. Hence, sport is very important in pupils life.

In conclusion, even though, their future become mpre colourful, I still believe that students have free time is very important lik they hav eno free time for outdoor sports, highly pressure of study. however, play is also important like childern learn disciplne in scools and improve their physical fitness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear view that children need time for play, and you include relevant points about academic pressure, discipline and physical fitness. However, the response only partly answers the question: it does not clearly explain how much you agree that primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning, and the opening says “I completely disagree” without a consistent explanation of that position. Some examples, such as the long school and tuition schedule, support the concern about limited play, but the discipline example does not clearly show why formal learning is or is not excessive. Develop each main point and connect it directly to both questions, including the role play should have in the classroom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “To begin with,” “Secondly” and “In addition to that” helps identify points. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the second body paragraph begins “There are many advantages associated behind this trend,” although the trend being discussed is unclear and the paragraph shifts between discipline and play. The conclusion also combines several ideas without clearly restating your position. Some linking phrases are repetitive or used inaccurately, and references such as “this given statement” and “this trend” are not precise. Organise the essay around a clear position, with each paragraph developing one connected reason and transitions that show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “academic pressure,” “outdoor activities,” “discipline” and “physical fitness,” so the reader can identify the main subject matter. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning unclear: “advantages associated behind this trend,” “students have a less time,” and “their future become more colourful” are examples. Spelling errors such as “peole,” “streesed,” “perents” and “childern” are also noticeable. Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, describe children as having “limited time for play” and say that excessive academic demands can “increase stress,” rather than relying on awkward or unclear expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “even though.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in phrases such as “they are attend a tution classes,” “teachers are teach,” and “their future become.” There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “students have a less time” and the opening, where several ideas run together without clear punctuation. These errors recur and can make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a correctly formed supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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