Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Certain individuals believe that elementary schools programs are more oriented towards structured education rather than adding some periods to other skills and playing.

I fully agree that most primary education is focused too much on formal learning leaving no time for children to be children. In my opinion play time is very important the kids personal developement.

Most schools teach a lot of subjects throughout the whole day leaving no time for activities other than academic. Elementary schools are obliged to stick to the program given from the minister of education that require delivering an extensive coursework in a very limited time each semester, so the teachers need to be choosing quantity over quality and the kids overwhelmed by the amount of information that is propably too intensive for their age, as a result, this rigid scheduling, limits severly the opportunity for practical activities. For exemple in tunisia, pupils have two periods each day morning period from 8am to 12pm and then a two hours break before they start the second period from 2pm to 5pm, and since the subjects are too many and very complex most of the children need to have extra hours of tutoring after school leaving no room to develope other important skills.

Playing is essential for primary school children because it supports their cognitive, social, and emotional development.Through playing, children can develop important skills that cannot be acquired through formal learning alone. For example, group games teach them how to cooperate with others, communicate their ideas, and solve problems. Furthermore, playing helps children release stress and maintain concentration, making it easier for them to understand and remember what they learn in class. Therefore, combining play with formal education can create a more enjoyable and effective learning environment.

to conclure, it's very important for children to learn while playing that will make them enjoy learning and help create better foundation for higher education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you fully agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you also explain why play matters. The response addresses both questions, with relevant support such as the Tunisian school-day example and the discussion of cooperation, communication, and problem-solving through games. These examples extend your main points rather than merely listing them. To strengthen the response further, develop the practical implications of your argument more precisely: for instance, explain how schools could balance play and lessons, or give a specific example of learning through a classroom activity. Some claims, such as children needing extra tutoring because subjects are complex, are broad and would benefit from qualification or clearer support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop the reasons, and a conclusion restates the importance of learning through play. The progression from the pressure of formal curricula to the developmental benefits of play is logical. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “Furthermore,” and “Therefore” to guide the reader. However, cohesion is not always smooth: the first body paragraph contains several ideas in one long sentence, and the connection between the Tunisian timetable and the claim about tutoring could be made clearer. Some transitions, especially into the conclusion, are basic. Break up dense sentences and use clearer references to show how each example supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “structured education,” “extensive coursework,” “cognitive, social, and emotional development,” and “rigid scheduling.” These choices help communicate the central argument, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. There are several spelling and word-choice problems, such as “developement,” “propably,” “severly,” and “develope,” as well as less natural phrases like “adding some periods to other skills and playing” and “the kids personal developement.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe schools as “placing greater emphasis on formal instruction” and refer to “children’s personal development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a reason clause (“because it supports…”) and a result clause (“making it easier for them…”). These allow you to explain relationships between ideas, and the main message is generally understandable. However, some sentences contain several clauses joined without adequate punctuation, particularly the long sentence beginning “Elementary schools are obliged to stick to the program…”. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “the teachers need to be choosing quantity over quality and the kids overwhelmed,” where the second clause lacks a finite verb. Missing apostrophes and punctuation also affect accuracy, for example “the kids personal development.” Use shorter sentences where needed, and check that every clause has a clear subject and verb.

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