Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

yes, i agree on this opinion, they are focuses on only learing and teaching for childrens but they don't thing that more stress for children to understand continusuly, because they want some break like physically to get some relaxness they body and brains.

because why i agree means we are also face that stiutions in our child life right, in that time we got stressed filling for two continues classes but now they increases to four to five classes whithout any physical exercises any breaks with that they are taking class with study hours, and also introducing that new languages which was out of syallbus and they are not taking like sloving they are talking like a we want to complete with stressfully they are not taking it good, because it stressful without any breaks and physical they don't have enough breaks

they want some physical activites for they bodies and also for there brains to feel stress free and they can contiues the remainig class with intreast but also they want to get intreast and it's a respondability for teachers also to see the students to some rest for some childrens how was not better to continue the class

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear general position in favour of the opinion, saying that children need breaks from continuous lessons, and you give relevant reasons: physical activity can help them relax and return to class with more interest. However, the response only partially addresses the task. The importance of play in the classroom is implied through “physical activities,” but you do not explain what children might learn through play or give a specific example. Your points about longer classes and new languages are also asserted rather than developed. The response is 50 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each part of the question with a clear example and a fuller explanation of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic line of argument: you agree that formal learning is overemphasised, then describe stress from long lessons and the need for activity and rest. This gives the response some organisation, and phrases such as “because” and “but also” attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the response is written as a few long blocks, with no clear introduction, developed body paragraphs, or conclusion. Several links are repetitive or unclear, especially the repeated references to breaks and stress. Organise the answer into paragraphs, each with one main point, and use clearer transitions to show how the example supports your view. This would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “stress,” “physical activities,” “classes,” and “breaks,” so the reader can identify your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “stress” and “breaks.” Frequent spelling and word-choice problems, such as “learing,” “relaxness,” “syallbus,” and “intreast,” sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Some expressions are also unnatural, for example “stressful filling” and “taking class with study hours.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations. More precise wording would help you explain the benefits of play and rest without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when explaining that children need physical activity so they can continue lessons with interest. However, these complex attempts are often faulty, and the response relies heavily on loosely connected clauses. Errors in sentence structure and verb forms appear throughout, as in “they are focuses” and “they are taking class,” while agreement and pronoun patterns are also unclear in “for they bodies.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the lowercase opening “yes” and long sentences that need clearer boundaries. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas using accurate conjunctions. This will make your meaning more reliable while allowing you to show a wider range of structures.

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