Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

it is argued that primary education focus more on formal learning, this is a postive impact as it helps to promote social moral , and build there learning habit .

formal educations encompasses of the basic knowledge a child acquires from primary school that is when a child foundation begins. here the child start to differentiate between good and bad also they teach them how to play and as well learn in the class room for example, during your primary education children are been taught that there is time for everything that is why they give them breaks to play , and after that they go back to learn. this can be benefical to them as it gives them the opportunity to learn time management and socialization. in addition, they give children the opportunity to be exposed at early stage of life.

Another important reason why primary education should focus on formal learning is to enhance academic performance. when they start going to school they become intrested in learning and this is a very postive energy as it will make them intellectual. and as they grow older this will help build more future leaders with sensible memebers.

In conclusion, i stand firm that primary school children should be educated formally as this will make them more expose to life , and it will also give them many more postive benefits like time management, good academic performance , social morals and i think this habit should still be promoted in our primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position in favour of formal learning, and you include relevant points about academic performance, time management and social development. The example of children having breaks and then returning to lessons also relates to the question of learning alongside play. However, the response only partially addresses the task: it does not clearly explain how important play is in the classroom, and the discussion focuses more on the benefits of formal education than on balancing it with play. Several claims, such as formal learning producing “future leaders,” are asserted rather than explained or supported. State your view on the balance between learning and play directly, then develop each reason with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Ideas are generally grouped by topic, and connectors such as “in addition” and “in conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from the definition of formal education to moral learning, play breaks and early exposure without showing how these points connect. The conclusion largely repeats the introduction and body points rather than drawing them together. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one main idea at a time; make references such as “this” and “they” explicit so the reader can follow who or what is meant.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic performance,” “time management,” “socialization” and “formal learning.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “positive” and “primary education.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “postive,” “intrested,” “memebers” and “expose,” which can distract the reader. Some combinations are unnatural or unclear, including “promote social moral” and “build more future leaders with sensible members.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and more precise terms when describing children’s development. Proofreading spelling and checking how words combine would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using clauses and linking words, for example the sentence beginning “here the child start to differentiate,” but control is inconsistent. Frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries can make parts difficult to follow: “primary education focus” needs a plural verb, while “the child start” also requires agreement. In “when they start going to school they become interested,” the opening clause needs clearer punctuation, and several sentences run together or begin with lowercase letters. The range is mostly simple, with longer structures often becoming faulty. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check agreement and punctuation.

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