Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's globalized world, good education is pivotal to success. Therefore, critics believe that in addition to theoretical learning, primary schools should also emphasize practical skills. Although formal education tends to provide substantial knowledge, I concur with the notion that practical skills play an immense role in helping children understand real-world conditions in a much more pragmatic way.

Primary schools have long been a driving force behind fostering kids. Therefore, it's the primary responsibility of a school to nurture basic skills that are crucial in a tangible world. Nowadays, tough routine due to a fully stacked schedule is a pressing issue for many young kids. Scientifically it's proven that playing sports in between classes could enhance cognitive activity. On the other hand, if there is no social activity it might have detrimental impact on health.

Proponents in favor of the view also believe that stress and anxiety are some of the most common issues in young kids. This is primarily because workload due to excessive assignments and listening to lectures for a long period. Therefore,a much more rational approach is to have a balance in learning and playing. For instance, after playing sports and then returning back to studies makes students feel more energetic and enthusiastic about their studies.

In a nutshell, while formal learning is important, I firmly believe that there should be a balance approach because just sitting in a class is quite monotonous for many kids, in addition to affecting their mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and make your position clear: you support balancing formal learning with practical activity, concluding that children need both learning and play. Relevant points include the possible cognitive benefits of sport and the effects of workload on stress and health. However, the response focuses more on practical skills and sports than on play in the classroom, so the second question is not explored fully. Some claims, such as “Scientifically it's proven,” are asserted without explanation or a specific example, and the point about stress could be developed further by showing how classroom play helps. The response is also two words below the required minimum. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation or example and meet the stated length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs give reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “On the other hand,” and “For instance” help signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or not fully logical. For example, “On the other hand” introduces a related consequence rather than a contrasting view, and “Proponents in favor of the view” does not clearly identify whose view is meant. The second body paragraph also moves from stress to workload and then to a proposed balance without fully explaining the links. Use more precise referencing and build each paragraph around one main point, developed in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “cognitive activity,” “detrimental impact,” “monotonous,” and “enthusiastic.” These choices show an effort to use less common and academic language, and your meaning is generally clear. Some expressions are imprecise or do not collocate naturally, however: “tough routine,” “fully stacked schedule,” and “fostering kids” are awkward in this context. “Practical skills” is also not quite equivalent to the question’s focus on play, so it can make your argument seem less directly targeted. Aim for natural, precise phrases such as “demanding schedules,” “support children’s development,” and “classroom-based play.” This will make your vocabulary more accurate without sacrificing range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although formal education tends to provide substantial knowledge…” and a conditional structure beginning “if there is no social activity.” Most sentences communicate your meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “might have detrimental impact” needs an article (“a detrimental impact”), and “This is primarily because workload…” needs “the workload” or “the workload is.” The sentence “after playing sports and then returning back to studies makes students feel…” has a faulty structure; a clearer version is “After playing sports, students feel more energetic when they return to their studies.” There are also punctuation and spacing slips, such as “Therefore,a.” Check articles, sentence construction, and punctuation during revision.

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