Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that elementary schools focus less on informal learning. I strongly agree with this opinion. Nowadays, children in primary school only learn academic subjects. It is important for children's physical and metal growth to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

In recent years, in the primary teachers are focusing heavily on academic. In primary schools, childrens are learing total 7 to 10 subjects, including science, new language, physical education,drama. They have attend classes from morning till evening. Teachers are giving lectures on white board or giving presentation as simillar as universities. At the end of the classes, teachers are giving assignments to the children to submit in the next lecture. As a result of that childrens are more strees than previous generation. Only a handfull of primary schools curriculam are different.

In the primary school, children should be able to play and learn. They shouln't be force to memorise the addition, substraction, multification, history. Childrens are afried to go to the school. They feel traped inside of their classroom. Learning should be fun not the other way around and school has to be the playground for the kids. Teachers play a very important role in upbring childs future. some of the famous players shared their childhood stories, how there teacher incourage them to play and saw the potential. Children should play in the kindergarden and in between they should learn.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that primary scholls focus too much on formal learning and believe that children should to able to play as well as learn in the primary school classrom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall position, agreeing that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you address the importance of play by describing children as stressed or trapped and arguing that learning should be enjoyable. However, the response only partially develops the task: claims such as children attending classes “from morning till evening” and having too many subjects are not supported with a specific example, and the reference to famous players remains vague. The opening also changes the prompt’s claim from focusing “too much” on formal learning to focusing “less” on informal learning, which weakens precision. The response is 247 words, three words below the 250-word minimum; the 21 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop one or two reasons with clearer examples and explain how play supports learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about academic pressure, a paragraph supporting play, and a conclusion that restates your view. This gives the reader a basic route through your argument. However, progression within the body paragraphs is uneven. The list of subjects and the description of lectures and assignments are followed by a broad claim about stress without showing the connection in detail. In the second body paragraph, ideas about memorisation, children’s feelings, teachers’ influence, famous players, and kindergarten are placed together with limited linking. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the main point. More precise referencing and transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic subjects,” “assignments,” “memorise,” “potential,” and “playground,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts less clear, such as “focus less on informal learning” when your position is that schools focus too much on formal learning, and “teachers are focusing heavily on academic.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “strees,” “handfull,” and “curriculam.” Aim for more precise education-related expressions and check spelling carefully. For example, “academic workload” and “play-based learning” would express your ideas more naturally and specifically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including “As a result of that…” and “Teachers play a very important role…,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction: “They have attend classes” should use a past participle, while “children should to able to play” has an incorrect verb pattern. Plural and possessive forms are also often inaccurate, as in “childrens” and “there teacher.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall meaning can usually be recovered. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences using conjunctions such as “because” and “while,” checking each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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