Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, many people believe that primary school only teach that formal learning. I agree that because, primary school teach me how to study books and other thinks, also teach me how to talks about other people. children play classroom that is a very important in childhod life.

Firstly, primary schools teaching formal learning and teachs the behavier that is main learning in our life. Formal learing that is a basic learning in our life that is most important for every student. For example, people can't read the book and people khow what is a,b,c,d that is very basic learning in school. As a result, formal learning is the best way to started educational life.

Secondly, Classroom play that is most important in student and every children. That play make tha children friend and communicate other people, that play teach me how to communicate ther people and how to make friend. For consiourtly, people going to the school first time this time people or children can't talk other people because he don't know who is he or she. This time classroom play is most important make the friend and communicate others. As a result, classroom play is most important in school this make the children confidence and intrubart people make a friend.

In conclusion, Primary school teach me a how to talk people and how to behavior other people that is best and most important teach every human life, and classroom play teach me how to communicate other and how to make friend that is also important human life. this two is most important for holl life that way i agree with tham.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you discuss formal learning and explain that classroom play can help children make friends, communicate and gain confidence. Your examples about learning letters and a child arriving at school without knowing classmates are relevant. However, the response only partially develops the question of whether schools focus too much on formal learning. The opening says “I agree,” but the body mainly describes the value of formal learning and play rather than explaining whether formal learning receives excessive emphasis or how the two should be balanced. Several points, including the claim that formal learning is “the best way” to begin education, are asserted rather than explained. State your position more precisely and support each main idea with a clear reason or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main topics, and “As a result” attempts to show relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first paragraph moves from formal learning to behaviour without explaining the connection, while the second repeats the importance of play and friendship several times. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not clearly connect the ideas, and references such as “this time” are difficult to follow. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use clear references and transitions rather than repeating the same claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “communicate,” “confidence” and “educational life,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “important,” “teach” and “make friend.” Frequent spelling errors such as “Nowdays,” “learing,” “behavier” and “intrubart” make parts of the response difficult to understand. There are also inaccurate word choices and collocations, for example “classroom play” and “people khow what is a,b,c,d.” Build a more varied set of accurate terms for learning and social development, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and results, and use a few longer structures, such as “For example” and “As a result” clauses. However, sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts to combine ideas often contain frequent errors that make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “primary school only teach,” “primary schools teaching,” and “that play make tha children friend,” where subject–verb agreement and sentence construction are not controlled. Articles, plurals and verb forms are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “make a friend” and “people can't talk other people.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join them with conjunctions. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and plural nouns.

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