Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This essay focuses on discussing that many individuals dont like that schools gave great attention on typical form of studies and dont gave importance to extra curriculam activities

In my opinion, I am not satisfied by the methodologies being used to teach juveniles. These techniques were designed decade ago by goverment and there are no rules to upgrade these techniques based on various modern researches done on early brain development for example Course curriculum is still same what we learn as children and now even generation of this era where there is so much development in technology still reading same curriculum which is extrememly inappropriate. In order to address this issue, there should be proper policies of revising curriculum as well as techniques by educational departments.

Children have tendency to absorb more in their early years and learning can be enjoyable thorugh extra curricular activities. for examples fun activities like playing, painting, dancing help them to be more creative and these can also develop motor skillsin them. students can happily go to school because they have lots of entertainment as well as new exposure which they may find really interesting. Courses like story telling also need to be add in curriculum and this also help them be more visual and imaginative.

Kindergarden Schools should introduce new techniques that will make learning more fun, entertaining and they should hire staff who are highly qualified in this domain and have depth knowledge of early child development and how to deal with childs psycology and nourish them with right kind of knowledge and expose their hidden talents that will help to build their future more productive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you criticise the emphasis on traditional formal study and explain why play and creative activities matter. Your position is generally clear, especially in the examples of painting, dancing and storytelling, which you link to creativity, motor skills and imagination. However, the response focuses more on curriculum reform and teaching methods than directly explaining how much you agree that primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning. The claim that the curriculum has remained unchanged is also broad and would benefit from a specific example or support. Develop the balance between classroom learning and play more fully, and explain how play can complement rather than replace academic learning, to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about teaching methods, one about the benefits of activities, and a concluding recommendation. This gives the reader a general route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are joined into long sentences, particularly in the paragraph beginning “In my opinion”. Connections between claims could also be clearer: for example, the discussion of outdated curricula moves quickly to government policy without showing how this relates to the question of play. Use clearer topic sentences and divide complex points into shorter units. More precise linking and referencing would help the ideas build logically rather than feeling like a list.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “early brain development”, “motor skills”, “imaginative” and “curriculum”. These choices help communicate the main ideas, and there is some effort to use less common terms. However, inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural, as in “great attention on”, “extra curriculam activities” and “depth knowledge”. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “new exposure” and “more productive” when describing children’s development. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships in context. Choosing simpler but accurate phrasing will make your argument clearer while you build a more flexible range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which”, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, especially in longer sentences. For example, “Course curriculum is still same what we learn as children” has problems with articles, tense and clause structure, while “Courses like story telling also need to be add” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also agreement and sentence-boundary issues, such as “these also help” being needed after a plural subject and the run-on construction in the paragraph about curriculum. Aim to make each sentence express one complete idea, then check articles, verb forms and subject–verb agreement.

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