Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now a days, The methods of learning is very considerable topic for debate where some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning instead of other learning activities.

So basically,formal learning plays vital role in development of children but at some extent i disagree with this because there are so many factors inculded in progress of any kids or teenage students which supports there phyiscal strength and stamina to get increased.

In my opinion formal learning is very important for mental growth but too much is the pointed level where every children feel exhausted by learning and there i would like to say in anything too much is not good,schools have to manage there ciriculum where with formal learning student also get to know about playing activities like football ,cricket which make there body strong and strengthen there bones.

I would like to express one real life example where i personally made a visit in several schools where they priortize formal learning ,but there students have highest ratio in weekness ,obesity ,overweight in such small age which is lead to get diseases in future so i did meetings with there school principle and told them to add playing activity like kho-kho ,kabbadi ,high jump so there school students also participate in national level activity like khel mahakumbh.

To conclude this i would like to say management is best key to everything ,schools should have to focus on formal learning but not too much they should have to add playing activities for physical development of childrens in this way school also get beneifts from government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: formal learning matters, but schools should balance it with play. The discussion of physical benefits and your example of schools adding activities such as kho-kho and kabaddi are relevant, and the conclusion restates your view. This meets the core requirements well. To make the response more fully developed, explain more precisely why formal learning is excessive in some schools and how classroom play supports learning as well as physical health. The example about obesity and future disease is asserted rather than clearly supported, and the point about schools benefiting from government is not explained. More careful development of these ideas would strengthen the argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from the value of formal learning to the need for physical activity, and phrases such as “In my opinion” and “To conclude” help signal the stages. However, connections between some points are mechanical or unclear. For example, “So basically” is informal and does not clearly link the opening to the writer’s position, while the long sentence beginning “I would like to express one real life example” contains several ideas without clear boundaries. References such as “there” and “this” can also be difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and divide explanations into shorter, logically connected sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “mental growth,” “physical development,” and examples of sports and activities. This gives you enough language to communicate the main argument. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “weekness,” “priortize,” “ciriculum,” and “highest ratio in weekness.” Phrases such as “the pointed level” and “supports there phyiscal strength” are also unclear or unnatural. Aim to learn common academic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the educational benefits of play, not only its physical effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses with “where” and “which,” and the overall meaning can usually be understood. However, control is inconsistent: errors in agreement, articles, plurals, verb forms and sentence boundaries occur throughout. For example, “The methods of learning is” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “every children feel exhausted” has incorrect agreement and number. The sentence beginning “I would like to express one real life example” runs several clauses together, and punctuation around commas and spaces is often inaccurate. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a clearly controlled subordinate clause, then check articles and subject–verb agreement.

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