Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Most of people beleives that elimentary schools gives more concentration on structured curriculum than other activities. I firmly disagree with this approach of totally putting efforts to learning academics because in my opinion, non-curriculum activities are equally crucial for physical and mental health progress.

Those schools which only focuses on the improvement of their academic grades leads to least interest of students in other physical activities and learning skills. This trend of memorization and text-book based curriculum, as exemplified by the prevelance of standardized assesments that gauge student's ability to recall facts rather than creativity and critical thinking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a clear position in the opening: “I firmly disagree” with giving academics too much emphasis, and you identify physical and mental development as reasons to value other activities. However, the response addresses the task only partially. It does not explain how important play is in the classroom, give a relevant example, or develop the consequences of balancing play and learning. The second paragraph begins a relevant point about memorisation and standardised assessments, but it ends without explaining its effect or linking it clearly to your position. The response also does not meet the required minimum of 250 words, leaving too little space to develop the argument. Extend each main idea with explanation and an example, and answer both questions directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an opening paragraph gives your position, followed by a paragraph that starts to explain a concern about academic focus. The ideas are broadly related to the topic, and “because” helps connect your opinion to a reason. However, progression is limited because the second paragraph stops after an incomplete thought, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the argument together. The link between “physical activities and learning skills” and the later point about assessments also needs to be made explicit. Develop a clear sequence—position, reason, explanation or example, and conclusion—and use paragraphing to separate the importance of play from the drawbacks of excessive formal learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “structured curriculum,” “memorization,” “standardized assessments,” and “critical thinking.” These choices show an effort to discuss education beyond very basic terms. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, such as “beleives,” “elimentary,” “prevelance,” and “assesments.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear: “gives more concentration on” and “least interest” do not express your meaning precisely. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, you could write that schools “place too much emphasis on academic learning” and that students may “lose interest in physical activities.” More precise vocabulary would make your argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex opening sentence with “because” and a relative clause beginning “Those schools which…,” showing some variety beyond simple sentences. However, errors in sentence structure and agreement are noticeable. In “Most of people…,” the article and plural form are incorrect; “schools which only focuses” has a subject–verb agreement error; and “Those schools… leads” also mismatches the plural subject and verb. The final sentence, “This trend of memorization…,” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence, so the relationship between the idea and its result is unclear. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, and ensure verbs agree with plural nouns.

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