Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Describe the statement some people argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning. I agree the statment this is very important its for childeren to play has well and learn in the primary school.

First of all some people argue that the primary school the fouces only studies. because on your opinion they focus only your study and do not waste your time on the different types of the game. For example the students only focus on your studies not waste for your time but the students presure of family and the students mind not work for everything. The solution for this problem Primary school on the free time the played different games and the students enjoy this games and fresh on your mind and relax.

Secondly on my opinion the primary schools allow the diufferent games for the students because the students on your free time the played the games and students brain refresh and relax and than the students easilly focus on your studies and than the students takes good results.

The primary school they not allow the games they only focus on your studies and than the results are not goods because the students not work your mind so the results the bad and the students sad and the best solution for this problems the primary school on your free class the students played different game and the relax and enjoy these activites and your your brain refresh and relaxing and than the students better focus on your studies and than the students good proformance and the good results and the students hard working on your studies.

Overall the important part of the games for every students life because the students played the games and your brain refresh and relaxing than the focus on your studies and the better results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a relevant position by agreeing that children should both play and learn, and you give a reason: play can help pupils relax and then concentrate on their studies. The examples about pressure from family and improved results also relate to the topic. However, the response addresses the two questions only partially. It does not clearly explain how much you agree that schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning, and several claims—such as games leading to better results—are repeated rather than developed with a specific example or explanation. To strengthen the response, state your position directly in the introduction, address both questions explicitly, and develop each main reason with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response: you use an opening, paragraphs beginning “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a concluding “Overall.” This gives the reader some indication of the order of ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the same point about games refreshing the brain and improving study results appears repeatedly, and several sentences run together without clear links. References such as “your” and “these games” are also unclear in places. Give each paragraph one distinct purpose, use shorter sentences, and connect cause and effect explicitly—for example, explain how a short play activity may help pupils return to a lesson with better concentration.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the central topic, with relevant words such as “formal learning,” “studies,” “games,” “relax,” and “results.” However, the range is limited and many words or phrases are repeated, particularly “students,” “games,” “focus,” and “results.” Several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “the students presure of family,” “fresh on your mind,” and “good proformance,” which make some ideas harder to understand. Work on accurate collocations and vary the language used to describe learning and play. For instance, you could describe games as helping pupils “relieve stress” or “improve concentration,” rather than repeatedly saying that their brains are refreshed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and results, including with “because” and “and then,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts to combine several ideas often become difficult to follow. Errors in sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms are frequent: “the primary school focus,” “the students played the games,” and “the results are not goods” illustrate problems that affect clarity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with sentence boundaries missing in places. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using a clear subordinate clause or linking phrase. Check that subjects and verbs agree and that verb forms remain consistent, as in “schools focus” and “students play.”

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