Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is commonly believed that, primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning. School is the place where individuals get their basic knowledge and learn in their initial stage. I partially agree with this statement. In the following easy, I will discuss the both perspectives.

At the outset, primary schools target much on formal learning because this is the stage, where the children get his basics of learning. This is one of the most critical stage in educational life. If you do not get much attention at this point, you will get problem in higher studies. For instance, in Pakistan some schools do not focus much on the initial learning phase like vocublary and pronounciation, but when that kid pass to higher school he face many hurdles in educational point of view. So, there should be a good focus on formal learning from the very first stage.

On the other hand, all the focus should not be on the learning in schools, with all of this there shlould be proper timetable for the sports as well. Because if the kid is always get into the studies, and sideways the sports he will not be mentally and physically fit. Sports relax your mind and you learn alot of skills through it like leadership skills and you learn to handle the pressue and how to perform in it. Besides, all of this sports is very helpful for children in their learning phase of life.

To conclude, I would say with the studies in secondary schools the playing period should be introduced for kids which keep them mentally and physicaly fit.`

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated as “I partially agree,” and you address both formal learning and the value of sports, so the response is relevant to the question. The example about children in Pakistan also supports your point that early learning can affect later study. However, the extent of your agreement is not fully explained: the first body paragraph argues for formal learning rather than clearly showing whether schools currently give it too much emphasis. The importance of play is more directly addressed, but claims about fitness and skills are brief and general. To develop the response further, explain what balance you believe primary classrooms should provide and extend each main point with a specific example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “At the outset” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the arguments, and the ideas within each paragraph are generally related. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and some links are unclear. For example, “Because if the kid is always get into the studies, and sideways the sports” makes the relationship between study and sport difficult to follow. The conclusion also introduces “secondary schools,” although the discussion concerns primary schools. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting detail explicitly to your position; ensure the conclusion summarises the same argument developed in the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “higher studies,” “leadership skills” and “mentally and physically fit.” These choices make your main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “target much on formal learning,” “get his basics” and “educational point of view.” Spelling errors, including “vocublary,” “pronounciation” and “pressue,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use more precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe schools as “place considerable emphasis on academic learning” and say that children “develop foundational skills,” rather than relying on repeated general terms such as “learning” and “focus.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If you do not get much attention at this point, you will get problem in higher studies.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles and verb forms occur throughout. Examples include “this is the stage, where,” “This is one of the most critical stage,” and “when that kid pass … he face.” The sentence beginning “Because if the kid is always get into the studies” is also difficult to interpret because its verb structure is incomplete. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns, then proofread for articles and punctuation.

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