Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To begin with, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning or how important it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.I firmly believe that focusing too much on formal learning for the young learners has a negative or adverse impact. It is important for them to play as well as learn in the primary school class.

First and foremost, from my perspective i personally believe that this will enhance toddlers ability to understand things better, Whereas playing activities will play vital role in for the motivation of the studies for them.

For instance, Young individual gets activities like colouring day, poem competition day and playing day

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a relevant position: “I firmly believe” that too much formal learning has a negative impact, and you say play is important alongside learning. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not explain what harm formal learning causes or how play supports children’s development. The examples of colouring, poetry competitions and a “playing day” are listed but not explained or linked to your argument. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words: 82 words were counted, and 37 words copied from the prompt were excluded. Develop both parts of the question with reasons and specific examples, then add a conclusion that restates your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, using “To begin with,” “First and foremost,” and “For instance” to signal an opening, a reason and an example. The reader can identify your general view, and the example follows the point about play. However, the response is too brief to establish a clear progression of ideas, and the first sentence repeats much of the question rather than introducing your argument. The second paragraph moves quickly from a broad claim to a list, without explaining the connection. Separate the introduction, developed supporting points and conclusion into clear paragraphs, and use linking phrases to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “motivation,” “activities” and “poem competition.” Phrases such as “negative or adverse impact” show an attempt to express an evaluative idea, although the two near-synonyms are redundant together. The range is limited by the short response, and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “motivation of the studies” and “Young individual gets activities.” Choose more natural collocations and explain ideas with vocabulary related to learning and development. For example, you could describe play as encouraging engagement, creativity or social skills, rather than relying on a short list of activity names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “I firmly believe that…” and a sentence beginning “Whereas.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence boundaries, punctuation and grammatical forms reduce accuracy. There is no space after the full stop in “classroom.I,” “i” should be capitalised, and “Whereas” is incorrectly capitalised after a comma. The phrase “toddlers ability” needs a possessive form, while “will play vital role in for” has problems with articles and sentence construction. Practise accurate sentence boundaries and possessives, and check each sentence for a complete, grammatically connected structure before adding more complex clauses.

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