Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people tend to believe that primary school's absolute focus is on formal learning. I am comletetely against this notion because I believe that co curricular activities serve equal importance as academic studies.

To begin with, formal learning is the absolute priority for both parents and teachers and it is true that it serves as the absolute core foundation for children from such a tender age. If the practical world is concerned, finanancial stability is non negotiable and which is why individuals are forced to put their absolute focus on studies. Even in today's date a country like india thinks that outdoor sports and co-curricular activities are a sheer waste of time. Children are asked to spend their time indulging in plays as less as possible as parents consider it as a distraction rather than development.

However, the primary school classroom should prioritize outdoor activities as it can foster a child's cognitive skills. Stastical data shows that non- academic activities have a higher significance in developing creative skills and concentration. It has also been concluded that they are supposed to focus more compared to others. Besides all these reasons the basic reason why i believe this way is that primary school goers are incapable of handling the pressure of formal learning. Being immatures at such an delicate age their first preference is enjoyment and they should be encouraged for that.

Therefore, I would say along with formal learning in primary schools outdoor plays and other such activities should be promoted and included in their curriculum as it will have a huge advantage on their mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you oppose an excessive focus on formal learning and argue that play and co-curricular activities should also be included. You address both the emphasis on formal study and the value of play, with relevant points about creativity, concentration, and children’s wellbeing. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For example, the reference to financial stability does not clearly show why primary schools should prioritise formal learning, and the claim about statistical data gives no detail or example. The point that young children struggle with academic pressure is relevant but could be developed by explaining how play helps them learn. More specific support and a clearer balance between learning and play would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from the perceived emphasis on formal study to the benefits of play is generally understandable, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “Therefore” help show the direction of the argument. However, connections between some claims are not fully clear. The discussion of financial stability and India, for instance, moves quickly from one point to another without explaining their relationship to the classroom question. “Besides all these reasons” also introduces a point without specifying which reasons it refers to. Use clearer links between each claim and your main argument, and organise each paragraph around one developed central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “cognitive skills,” “creative skills,” and “mental and physical health.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “non-negotiable” and “foster.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “serve equal importance” would be better expressed as “are equally important,” while “indulging in plays” is not a natural collocation. Spelling errors such as “comletetely,” “finanancial,” and “Stastical” are noticeable, and inconsistent forms such as “co curricular” reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; precise, straightforward vocabulary will be more effective than awkwardly formal wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional opening (“If the practical world is concerned”) and a sentence beginning “because I believe.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “and which is why” creates an incomplete connection, and “Being immatures at such an delicate age” has problems with agreement and article use. The sentence about children being asked to spend time “as less as possible” also has an incorrect comparative construction. There are some punctuation and capitalisation issues, including lowercase “i” and “india.” Work on building complex sentences with clear clause relationships, and proofread articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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