Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent days, many believe that primary schools are concentrating so much on formal education only. They are focusing excessively on providing formal study system rather than maintaining a balance between learning and playing at the primary education level.

Overall, it is worth considering that educational institutes are paying too much attention on educating their students from an early age because, initially the kids are naive, their minds are fresh and they can understand things easily. They are working hard on the pupils and are training them well since the beginning to make them understand the difficult concepts afterwards more clearly. However, in doing so, they are just polishing their academic skills while forgetting to target any other activities necessary for students especially at the beginner level. For instance, hindering their personal growth by not considering other aspects related to fun and interactive sessions including multiple plays and different games.

I partially agree with the fact that most of the institutes specially primary schools, focusing only on formal learning because, playing is an essential part of children's lives. By concentrating more on learning, and no playing at all in the classrooms only develop academic pressure and burden on young kids which in turn affect both their mental and overall health badly. It is crucial for them to get involved in different fun related games and activities. There must be some days specifically for playing games and doing joyful work with their classmates, so they can enjoy the game period without having any stress of studies. As an example, I know about one student who just studies all day, don't want to go school the next day because he is not allowed to play with his friends.

In conclusion, it is appreciable to focus on formal learning, and many of the institutions are doing it already but for the appropriate personal and professional growth as well as, to keep the students motivated to enjoy their school hours, it is significant to arrange and allow kids to play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both questions and maintain a clear, qualified position: you partly agree that schools overemphasise formal learning, while arguing that play is important for children’s wellbeing and motivation. The discussion of academic pressure and the example of a child reluctant to attend school help support your view. This meets the task well, and the explanation that early learning can help children understand difficult concepts adds a relevant counterpoint. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, the claim that schools neglect other aspects of development could be linked more clearly to specific benefits of play, such as cooperation or creativity. Your view on how play should fit into classroom learning could also be developed beyond proposing designated game days.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from the value of early academic learning to the risks of neglecting play, and then to your recommendation. Linking expressions such as “However,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help signal these moves. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “For instance, hindering their personal growth” is a fragment and does not connect smoothly to the preceding point. The second body paragraph also shifts from your partial agreement to the importance of play without clearly distinguishing these ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and connect examples directly to the claims they illustrate.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss education and children, including “formal learning,” “academic pressure,” “personal growth,” and “motivated.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “interactive sessions” and “difficult concepts.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, which limits precision: “concentrating so much on formal education only,” “attention on educating,” and “fun related games” could be expressed more naturally. “Joyful work” is also unclear in this context. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but more conventional academic collocations would make it clearer and more fluent. Aim for precise phrases such as “place excessive emphasis on” and “recreational activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while,” and “so,” and your main ideas are usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and punctuation. For example, “By concentrating more on learning, and no playing at all in the classrooms only develop…” has an unclear subject and faulty structure; “one student who just studies all day, don't want…” has a subject–verb agreement error; and “because, initially the kids…” uses punctuation incorrectly. The fragment “For instance, hindering their personal growth…” also needs a complete main clause. Review sentence boundaries and check that each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb. Greater control would make your complex sentences easier to follow.

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