Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a debate among some individuals that the educational insititutions prioritize formal learning a lot and does not leave much room for children to spend their time in sports. As someone who has experienced it themselve, i truly believe that it is really important for the students to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. I will discuss two main reasons why i support this opinion.

Spending too much time in the classroom mentally drains a child's mind. Students can experience a lot of strain by keeping their eyes locked onto books and sitting at the same place for five to six consecutive hours. After one or two hours of studying, they find it hard to keep their focus and start feeling drowsy as well. Furthermore, it can kill their motivation to go to school at all because they think of it as a really tiring and stressful place.

Another reason is because sports help students refresh easily. A fifteen to twenty minute break between each lecture for playtime can easily remove the drowsiness and sleepy feeling. And when they sit in the classroom after that, they feel much more energized and focused on the study. Their brain is able to pick up information more efficiently and quickly. Sports also help them socialize with their peers when they are playing on the playground. They interact with each other throughout the game, and have new connections. It builts their confidence and helps them connect with other students as well.

In conclusion, i believe that sports and formal learning should be equally prioritized. As a healthy body and active mind can help them study with more focus. Also they will find it exciting to go to school instead of avoiding it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you support balancing formal learning with play, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both the concern about too much classroom learning and the value of play, giving relevant reasons such as tiredness, renewed focus, and social interaction. These points make the response relevant and complete overall. However, the discussion focuses mainly on sports and breaks, so it does not fully explore other forms of classroom play or explain in detail how play supports learning. The claim that formal learning and sports should be “equally prioritized” is also asserted rather than justified. Develop one or two examples further—for instance, how a classroom game could reinforce a lesson—to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion summarises your view. The progression from mental fatigue to the benefits of play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Another reason” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This gives the essay coherent organisation. At times, however, linking is somewhat mechanical, and several sentences begin with “And” or repeat the same idea about feeling refreshed and focused. The reference in “After that” is understandable but could be more precise. To strengthen progression, connect each example explicitly to the main claim and vary transitions, while grouping related benefits—such as concentration and motivation—more tightly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to explain your position and relevant effects of play, including “mentally drains,” “strain,” “energized,” and “socialize.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and there is some attempt to use more descriptive language. However, the range is uneven, with several informal or imprecise phrases, such as “a lot,” “same place,” and “sleepy feeling.” Some word forms and spelling are also inaccurate, including “insititutions,” “themselve,” and “builts.” These errors are noticeable and limit the precision and naturalness of the writing, although the overall meaning remains clear. Aim for more accurate academic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; for example, use “educational institutions” and “builds their confidence.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, including the complex sentence “Students can experience a lot of strain by keeping their eyes locked onto books…” and the conditional-style explanation of how pupils feel after play. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. In the opening, “institutions … does not leave” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “i” should be capitalised. The phrase “As a healthy body and active mind can help them study with more focus” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence; connect it to the preceding sentence. There are also awkward constructions such as “Another reason is because.” Greater control of agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation would make the varied sentences more accurate.

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