Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are individuals argue that children are only learning academic subjects, But not as much as getting to know other activities beside formal lessons. In my opinion, i completely agree with this taught because playing is curcial thing and a right for children.

To begin, with the main reasons of why children should not learn only formal things. Putting kids in academic stress from young age can lead to fail and laziness. For example, if the children are tend to be focused on very academic topics, they will definitely hate primary and feel like it is a pressure place, Because kids are still growing and developing. As a result they will feel exausted and drained.

The most essential thing for kids is playing and exploring new things. In other words, i believe that if primary schools provide a environment

full of soul and life, children will love to assist without feeling drianed and depressed or forced to. For instance, creating activies like drawing and music seance would be intressting for them. In addition, let them express their ideas and thoughts by doing things they love such as playing video games, parcticing sports like football and beskatball. These little things make them happy to be in primary schools.

In conclusion, i assume that focusing on formal learning can turn out in a negative way because it make children feel bored. Thats why i strongly agree with the extent of letting children play and do their hobbies in primary is very important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you completely agree that primary schools should give children more than formal lessons, and you address both academic pressure and the value of play. Examples such as drawing, music and sports are relevant to the classroom question. However, the response only partly develops the task: it does not explain in much detail how play supports children’s learning, and the claim that academic focus leads to failure or laziness is asserted rather than supported. The discussion also shifts towards hobbies such as video games without clarifying how these would fit into classroom learning. To strengthen the response, explain the educational or social benefits of play and develop each example with a specific reason or outcome.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally group related points, and signposts such as “To begin,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from academic stress to failure, dislike of school and exhaustion without fully connecting these claims. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not show the relationship precisely, and the second body paragraph combines classroom activities with hobbies in a list-like way. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main point; vary transitions and make references between ideas more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “academic stress,” “exploring,” “express their ideas,” and “drained.” These choices communicate your main concerns and show attempts to discuss children’s emotional experience. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less fluent, such as “curcial,” “exausted,” “activies,” “intressting,” and “parcticing.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “a environment full of soul and life” and “assist” where you mean attend school. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning natural collocations for education and child development. More precise terms such as “creative activities” or “a supportive classroom environment” would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if primary schools provide…” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “There are individuals argue,” which needs a relative clause or a different construction, and “if the children are tend to be focused,” where the verb pattern is incorrect. There are also problems with articles and agreement, as in “a environment” and “it make children feel bored,” as well as inconsistent capitalisation after commas. Practise accurate sentence patterns first, then extend them with subordinate clauses. Proofread for subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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