Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Active students lead to active minds. Learning is important for students but staying active also holds a significant importance. It is true that the formal learning that children get in their primary schools build their base but during this time extracurricular and games should be incorporated in their routine to help them gain physical strength and keep them fresh.

I firmly believe that it is important to strike a balance between learning and playing for children. Sometimes formal learning with no creativity leads to dull minds masking their creative sides. For instance according to a survey, where children from different schools were compared and it was relieved that children from schools that support creative activities and games for students were sharper and had ability of story telling rather than students who solely did formal learning with no extracurriculars.

Adding up to this point, I believe that children who study in a mixed environment are believed to become great leaders being great communicators. As they were trained to work and play in teams from the start, they have developed this habit. Moreover, the parents of the coming generation are open minded and they support the idea of personality grooming more over the studies.

In conclusion, although formal learning holds some significance in building a studious mindset of students and giving them proper study routine. These few benefits cannot rule out the importance of incorporating extracurriculars in their school timetables.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support balancing formal study with play, and you address both the value of learning and the importance of classroom activities. The examples about storytelling, teamwork and communication are relevant. However, the discussion of why primary schools focus too much on formal learning is brief, and the survey example is asserted rather than explained or substantiated. The point about parents being open-minded is also only loosely connected to what should happen in the classroom. The response is 238 words, below the required 250, so there is limited space to develop these ideas. To strengthen the response, explain how play supports learning and give a specific, credible example of a classroom activity and its benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The main position is easy to follow, and transitions such as “For instance,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some links feel mechanical or unclear. “Adding up to this point” does not precisely show how the next claim develops the previous one, while the shift to parents’ attitudes interrupts the focus on classroom practice. The conclusion also introduces a contrast but does not complete it smoothly. Organise each body paragraph around one central reason, then use clearer references and transitions to show how each example supports that reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “creative activities,” “physical strength,” “mixed environment” and “communicators.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt some less common expressions. At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or awkward, as in “holds a significant importance,” “masking their creative sides” and “personality grooming.” “Relieved” is also not the intended word in the survey sentence. These slips do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for familiar, accurate academic collocations, and check that each word expresses the intended meaning in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “Sometimes formal learning with no creativity leads to dull minds” and a subordinate clause beginning “although” in the conclusion. The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the formal learning … build their base” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “children … were compared and it was relieved” contains an unclear, faulty clause structure. The final sentence beginning “although” is also a fragment because it lacks a complete main clause. Review agreement, clause boundaries and punctuation, especially when combining several ideas in one sentence. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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